It's hard to quantify the amount of love that you, The Band, give to others.

She's here to give thanks. Thanks for YOU, The Band.

This is her story:

I’ve written two posts here on Band Back Together, both about my mother. I was thinking about the first post today and stumbled across the second post - one I barely remember writing.

The post was about an episode in which my mother almost died. She coded, I hurried to the hospital, and I felt conflicted because I wished she had died. I felt like shit, so guilty for that. I wrote that post the morning afterward, sitting at work, trying to muddle through the events from the night before. I was wading through the dark, twisty thoughts in my head.

I wrote that post on December 22nd, 2011.

By December 28th, 2011, my mother was dead.

In one short week, my brother and I, with my mother's partner, made the decision to put her into hospice care. She lasted three days in hospice before she died.

The days we were in hospice, I blogged about my experiences. I've since continued my therapy-via-internet on my personal blog. Writing has been an amazingly cathartic outlet for my pain. The fear that I will hurt my mother should she stumble across my words is now gone. She’s dead. Finally, I can begin to heal.

What I wanted to convey with my words was gratitude. I'd almost forgotten about writing that second emotional, frantic post. When I found that post today, and read through the comments, I was filled with a sense of love; thankfulness - even though my mother’s death is nearly five months in the past.

So, The Band, I thank you. I don’t read and comment here as much as I should, but I plan on changing that.

For the support, encouragement and love you’ve given me: thank you.