Most of us have experienced unrequited love.
This is her story:
Have you ever felt unrequited love?
I have. More than once.
In fact, I'm in the throes of unrequited love, or limerence, right now.
Limerence: a term used to describe an involuntary state of mind that results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have those feelings reciprocated.
Limerence is more than infatuation; it's an obsession. When I'm like this, I cannot stop thinking about the object of my desire. I have conversations in my head with them. I spend all my time wondering what they're doing, if they're thinking of me, if I should contact them.
I over-analyze every minute detail because I want to think there's hope for something more between us. I tell myself to stop thinking about the object of my desire, but the thoughts are intrusive. They won't stop.
The person I'm currently focused on stemmed from an encounter with an old friend. We'd reconnected after several years and had a fabulous sexual weekend. Sex always deepens my feelings - friendship, love, whatever.
We'd agreed beforehand that our sexual weekend would be friendship and sex - it wouldn't lead to a "real" relationship. I was okay with that - my life is complicated enough and a carefree weekend sex sounded perfect.
It was great. We had fun - in and out of bed. I came home hopelessly limerent; full of unrequited love.
I don't want to feel this way.
I remind myself that I don't want to lose a friend by wanting more, especially since I know this person doesn't want a relationship. I wonder if they might want more over time. The cycle starts again.
I can't run away - this person is in my dreams. This person intrudes my thoughts all day long; even if I'm focused on something else. I can't tell anyone about my obsession, yet I feel I'll go crazy if I don't talk about it.
I know it's not normal.
I know I'm torturing myself. Yet, there's no way to turn it off.5 Comments