Having grown up in a blended family, I believe that your 'real' parents are the ones who raise you and love you, and are not always the ones who contribute your genetic material.
I have two fathers in my life; a biological father, and a stepfather, who has been with my mother for nearly as long as I can remember.
My biological father is a cheater, a liar, and a perjurer. He is an emotionally abusive man, who abandoned his pregnant wife and their two children. He is a narcissist who ripped his own family apart with his callous inconsideration for others. He is a manipulator. He uses the respect he is given as a police officer to bully his first wife, and to violate legally binding court orders.
He is not my 'real' dad.
My stepfather is not a cheater, a liar, nor a perjurer. My stepfather is a man who took the task of raising two young kids who weren't his. He is a fantastic grandfather to my young nephews.
He is also a physically abusive man, with a fondness for strangling teenage girls and slamming them into walls.
Or doors.
Or wardrobes.
Or anything else that is convenient.
He is the reason I moved an ocean away as soon as I was able, and he is the reason I no longer get to see my family. But he is not my 'real' dad.
I have two fathers, but I have no dad.
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