Many people struggle with social anxiety.
This is her story:
Apparently, some people actually can make new friends!
I have three real friends, but unfortunately, we're not all at the same points in our life. We don't have the same things going on nor are we interested in the same things. One is a married stay-at-home mom with two kids; one is married with one child and a fellow teacher; one is married with no kids and also a fellow teacher.
Then there's me.
I go through phases where I wish I had more friends, had people with more things in common outside of teaching. The problem is that even during those phases I am petrified of making new friends. Or the of possibly beginning a relationship.
I'm on medication for anxiety - I know this is partially why it's hard for me to make friends. I don't know how to let people in and be there for people - I like to keep the two things separate. Either I need people or people need me; they simply aren't allowed to be the same people. I'm trying to figure out how to allow myself to let any of these people be both. I've heard that relationships work better that way.
Unfortunately I don't know how.
When faced with new people, I don't know how to deal with them. I'd just as happily not deal with new people. I'd prefer to sit in my house with a book and ignore the possibility of being hurt. But I am lonely. I miss having friends to do things with. I miss the ability to have a relationship.
I miss having a life.
I love the friends I do have. They're wonderful people and I love them dearly. I also appreciate; love those I allow to be my support. If I could find a way to mesh these together I might be able to meet people. I might be able to get over myself. Who knows, maybe I could even be happy. Or, at least, less unhappy and less anxious.
I don't know. I'm just tired of the way things are right now.
I'm just tired.
Any advice for your Bandmate? Have you dealt with social anxiety and making friends? Do you have any suggestions for her?9 Comments