Here at The Band, we believe in kicking stigmas to the curb, flinging glitter, and shining a light into the dark. And now?
Your bandmate needs a sounding board.
It's time to Ask The Band!
I've never been good at letting things go, but this is so different. After years of terrible choices that hurt people I never meant to, I've learned to hate myself. My life now feels like a constant attempt to convince the two people I hurt badly that I'm not an evil whore sitting on my throne laughing at their pain, but that I hate myself more than they can imagine.
It has became all about trying to find forgiveness when I know I don't deserve it.
I'm scaring those who know me and I'm still hurting from hurting those who I've hurt. I'm scaring myself at how much I hate ME.
They only thing good in my life is my daughter. But lately, my mood has been so bad, I'm taking happiness from her, too. We live in my childhood home, the same town where I once felt completely safe, and now I feel like I can't leave my house. I feel I'm not allowed to live here anymore.
I know I need help, but I'm so scared of what they'll say. I don't know who to talk to or what to do. I hate everything about me - I can't see any way for things to change.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone knows how hard I try to stop my tears.
Do you have any advice for your Bandmate? Any suggestions for how to handle self-loathing?5 Comments