The First Pill

I just took the first pill of my first anti-anxiety medication. Ironically, I worry.

I worry that I am now on a lifetime of medication and I worry that I don't need it. After all, there is an easy solution to my social anxiety, just don't put myself in situations in which I know it will flare up.

I am also hopeful, especially that this feeling that I am tuned to a slightly different frequency than the rest of the world will go away and that the undercurrent of feeling wrong will fade.

The name of the medicine sounds like the name of a legendary sword (clever marketing) and I'm hopeful that it will cut away my anxiety without cutting away me.

by apizzagirl; Published on January 27, 2013
Filed under: How To Cope With Anxiety Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety Disorder, Fear

8 Comments

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erin margolin says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 8:32 a.m. 36985

Ironic that you just started meds and are already WORRYING about them---please take a minute to stop fretting. Take it from one who's been off and on anti-depressants & anti-anxiety meds for years. YOu cannot hide from life. And if someone prescribed your medication, it likely means you will benefit from it---it really can change your life! Give it a chance. There is nothing wrong with taking medication. ESPECIALLY if a professional prescribed it to you and you are feeling such anxiety. If you need to talk, email me: erinmargolin at gmail dot com

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Anne-Marie @ Do Not Faint says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 9:27 a.m. 36997

Congratulations on accepting help! I hope your care provider emphasizes, as mine did, that medication is one of many tools you are using to manage your anxiety. Even by taking a pill, YOU are the one doing the work. It is hard work, and don't believe for a second that meds are an easy out. There is nothing easy about managing anxiety. I have been trying, with varying degrees of success, since early childhood. You are not alone. You are still you. You are choosing to try different tools to help yourself. I hope you can feel pride in that.

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ace1028 says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 11:17 a.m. 37017

Give yourself the time to take them and let them work for you. It is perfectly normal to feel anxious when you start them, ESPECIALLY since you're anxious to begin with. I totally KNOW and feel you, and as Erin says above, there is nothing wrong with taking medication. Ever. At all. Know that and believe it, you can own it as many of us do. I will keep you in my heart and am here for you.

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Meg J says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 2:25 p.m. 37051

The great thing about these meds (anti-depressants, anxiolytics), is that they were designed to be a tool to help you get to where you're going. We've all had time where we needed a break, and a chance to catch up with our own thoughts. That's what these pills provide. You're so strong. You realized that you couldn't just hide your head in the sand and you sought help. That's so huge. I hope you realize that. Good luck, and we're all here for you.

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joannatomical says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 2:41 p.m. 37052

i know this feeling so well. i always tried not to think of my prescription as a death sentence, but a management tool. i took medication for a few years and learned how to feel not anxious while living my life. i've been able to remain off medication for almost 4 years now, but i wouldn't hesitate to go back on if i felt i needed to. it was a great help when i felt a little too out of control.

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Kathleen says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 5 p.m. 37082

"After all, there is an easy solution to my social anxiety, just don't put myself in situations in which I know it will flare up." I said much the same thing. And it did work - for a while. Then I woke up one day and realized the going out of the apartment to the mailbox downstairs took more out of me than I could command. Going to the kitchen, living room, or bathroom took effort. If I wanted to leave the house, I had to call a friend to accompany me. She escorted me to the therapist, who prescribed meds for depression and anxiety, along with regular talk sessions to help me learn how to cope. Eventually, I no longer needed the anxiety meds. Now, I still sometimes have problems leaving the house, but I fight the fear. Some days I get out by singing or chanting quietly to myself. It helps me fight the anxiety.

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Daizzy says...

Jan. 27, 2013, 5:03 p.m. 37084

I really hope these meds help you. I know it's a scary decision to go onto meds, especially when you don't feel like you constantly need them. But just know that it's the right decision for now. And they're not permanent. See how life is whilst you're on them - it might be amazingly different, and you just didn't know it! Or you might find that you don't need them after all, and come off them again. But well done for being strong enough to give them a go! xxx

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Krissy says...

Jan. 28, 2013, 10:59 a.m. 37240

I smoke a lot of pot (under a doctor and psychiatrists care) for the same reason. None of the pills have ever made my life manageable. The pot does. I've been smoking (now vaporizing) for about four years. It's bloody hard. I feel like a drug addicted loser. But I'm not. I'm a highly functional person... when I'm on meds. It's not my fault I need meds. I have PTSD from decades of sexual assault and neglect and abuse. My brain does not know how to stop feeling scared and angry. It is literally not my fault. But it is my fault if I hide behind that fear and anger and I hurt people who love me. With meds I am a reasonably cheerful, functional person. Without... oh boy. Not good. Is it ideal? No. But life rarely is. :)

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