Once trust is broken, it can be difficult or even impossible to win back.
This is her story.
I really don't want to keep being upset about what happened, but it's so hard for me not to be.
This was a person I was close to, a person I trusted, and who I thought cared enough (and regarded me highly enough) to at least show me the respect I deserve and treat me like a human being.
Instead I was treated like less than shit, in my opinion.
And yet somehow I still am tempted to remain friends. Not much, mind you, but it's there.
I hate the fact that I'm the levelheaded one in my family when it comes to things like this. Any of my relatives would've said "fuck you" and cut them out completely without a second thought, easy. But not me. I have to think things through and consider every side of the problem, any possible solutions, and how my actions could affect everyone - not just those involved - and I hate that too.
Because I have no room in my life for people that are going to treat me that way; I have no room in my life for cowards. So I don't want to keep in any sort of contact other than emergencies. I don't want this person in my life at all right now.
And every instinct I have is screaming at me to listen to these wants, to not have anything to do with them, at least not for a while. But no, my brain whole existence says I can't. I can't do that, what might happen? It doesn't matter if it might be best for me, I can't just let myself be that selfish.
I'm too nice for my own good, I guess.
And it sucks.5 Comments