I am a thirty-five year old woman with a heavy burden.
I've never had a mother who wanted to behave like a mother to me. You'd think by now I'd have accepted this, but for some reason I so long to have a mother in my life.
Having a proper mother in my life is what I think about when I'm in a funk. I long for someone to guide me, to turn to, to talk to - maybe she could help get me through the dark times. My friends have mothers like these. For me, though, having a mother isn't something that was meant to be. It hurts. It hurts almost every single day.
I do have awesome friends for whom I am very grateful.
I just can't shake that empty feeling inside me.