Okay, so it's more than likely you know more than your parents do about the Internet. Hell, my own mother still can't understand call waiting and it's been out for thirty gazillion years.

Knowledge IS power and these are still the early days of The Internets. When I was a kid we had a DIAL UP MODEM and it cost like four hundred bucks a minute to run.

So that's great. You're probably smarter than your parents. You're probably smarter than me, too, but that's not saying much.

HOWEVER.

What teens lack that adults have is perspective. Or, I should say, most adults. Some of us (read: Your Aunt Becky) is still pretty clueless.

So from an adult, you don't necessarily need to learn about Teh Internetz, but you do need to learn about Internet etiquette. Just trust me here.

RULE ONE: Do not say ANYTHING on the Internet you wouldn't wear on a t-shirt. Sure, it sounds like a great idea to talk about the MASSIVE camel toe Susie was rockin' in third period, but do you really want THAT following you around? The answer, dear teens, is FUCK NO.

RULE TWO: Anything you say on the Internet about someone else will be read by the person you wrote about. And while it's all haha now, being an asshole, even online, is still being an asshole. So don't be an asshole.

RULE THREE: Don't be an asshole. Why? Karma is a motherfucker. Plus, being an asshole sucks.

RULE FOUR: Don't feed the trolls or the cyberbullies. It's just not worth it.

RULE FIVE: Put your fucking clothes on. Yeah, I get it. You look hot. And you do, trust me, but you know who's not going to want to see your butt-ass naked pictures? Future employers.

RULE SIX: Nothing on Teh Internet dies. Ever. Don't believe me? Visit The Wayback Machine. You can thank me later in the form of fifty dollar bills.

RULE SEVEN: Don't be a bystander if someone is being cyberbullied. Report 'em to the cyber tipline. Why should you care? Because cyberbullying is bullshit and you can work to stop it.

RULE EIGHT: There's a difference between "cute" and "creepy." Know it. Old dudes (or chicks) trying to get you to talk dirty with them or send you naked p33n pictures? CREEPY. End of story.

RULE NINE: Okay, so your parents are lame. I get it. Mine are too. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try and talk to them about stuffs you see online. Especially if it's Bad Behavior.

RULE TEN: It's not a popularity contest. Don't accept everyone who wants to "friend" you on The Facebook or Google+.

RULE ELEVENTY: Don't share valuable information over the 'net. I hate to even post that, because frankly, who the hell thinks it's a good idea to send some random person their credit card numbers? MORONS. That's who. So don't be a moron.

RULE TWELVE: Trust your gut. No, seriously, there's a gut feeling in there and it's saying, "DANGER DANGER" then listen to it.

RULE THIRTEEN: If someone wants to meet you in person, tell your parents and your BFF when, where, how, and why. It's likely that whomever you're meeting is harmless (I personally have many online friends) but in the event that it's not....well, you don't want to have Tori Spelling star in the made-for-television movie made about your death.

RULE FOURTEEN: Remember your reputation when you post stuffs online. Yeah, I know, I'm not supposed to know or CARE about reputation, but I get it and you should too. The more we live online, the more we need to be wary of our reputation. That includes anything you say privately AND publicly.

RULE FIFTEEN: Sexting is pretty stupid. I'm an adult and I still think sexting is dumb and trust me, people have sent me plenty of naked weenie shots. Fucking Uncle Pervies.

RULE SIXTEEN: Pick a good SECURE password. Letters, numbers, symbols, all that jazz. Oh, and don't use one password for everything. Who wants to be hacked? (answer: no one) Tips for picking good passwords.

RULE SEVENTEEN: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. That fifty dollar Victoria's Secret gift card you get for sending that email to twenty-seventy of your friends? That's bullshit. Sorry, kiddo.

RULE EIGHTEEN: Don't be an asshole. Yeah, I'm saying it a second time. Why? Because it's important.

RULE NINETEEN: Change your privacy settings on Facebook. That way, you're not telling the whole world that your fart smelled like cheese. You'll thank yourself later.

So good luck, kiddos. And remember Your Aunt Becky when you're off saving the world.