Fear, A Poem About My Eating Disorder
I hate the way I look when I’m in front of the mirror.
Its a constant battle, always running on my greatest fear.
Who is going to love these rolls and cellulite?
Can’t wear this or that because it feels too tight.
Baggy sweats and sleeping alone at night.
Have to restrict or live with guilt after a meal.
Food is the go to, to change the way I feel.
Eating until my stomach is going to burst.
Punishing myself after, my choices are the worst.
Tomorrow I’ll do better, I won’t do it again.
Hop on the scale and I’ve gained another ten.
Shame and self loathing begin to spiral,
I get on my knees on the bathroom tile.
I have to purge this feeling, immediate relief
Now the enamel is wearing off of my teeth.
Run the water so no one can hear.
That being unlovable is my biggest fear.
