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Ask The Band: This Is A Shit Day

Here at The Band, we believe in kicking stigmas to the curb, flinging glitter, and shining a light into the dark. And now?

Your bandmate needs a sounding board.

It’s time to Ask The Band!

My five-year old son punched me in the nose this morning.

He was tired and frustrated and I was trying to rush him out the door. He gets his temper from me. None of this excuses what he did, but at least I can understand.

I thought, Wow, being punched in the face is a great way to start the day. This will obviously be a shit day.

I had no idea.

That afternoon, I got a call from the doctor’s office. My culture came back.

Two weeks ago I had sex for the first time in years, since getting divorced from my son’s father.

We’ve been seeing each other ever since. We’ve been an official couple for a week.

After the sex, I got a Urinary Tract Infection. I was uncomfortable, in pain, and I couldn’t sleep. It’s been two weeks, and I still haven’t slept much.

Now I get a call from the doctor’s office, and it turns out I have herpes.

I want to die.

Instead, I am sitting at work in tears.

He says he didn’t know he had it. We used a condom, but he performed oral sex on me. That’s the only way this could have happened.

I like him. At least, I think I do. He’s sweet and nice and he’s been treating me the way I wish my ex-husband had.

Do I still?

I don’t know. I feel like I can’t know.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks.

He’s out of the state for work for the next week. He sent me a text message a bit ago. I told him to fuck off. He called me. I told him the culture came back positive, but I couldn’t say what it was positive for out loud. I’m at work. I’m embarrassed.

I feel dirty, worthless, and disgusting.

Do I stay with him? Do I forgive him for something he didn’t know about?

Help me, The Band.

I need to know that I’m not alone, that I’m not dirty, and that there is a chance for me to still find happiness.