Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.
Author unknown
What Is Pet Loss?
Losing a pet, for any reason, is something that happens to every pet owner eventually. Whether your pet is stolen, dies, or must be re-homed - the loss can be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with.
Our pets often become members of the family, companions, confidantes, best friends, and some cases a coworker (working dogs) or ticket to independence (service dogs). For those reasons (and many others), the loss of a pet can trigger agonizing grief along with a whole host of other emotions - anger, guilt, shock, and many other strong emotions.
Grief and Pet Loss:
It's natural to go through the stages of grief as you would with any loss of somebody you care for. In many cases, the people around you don't understand the grief you are going through, and may tell you to "get over it." You may hear things like "it was just a dog/cat/bird" or "you can just get another one." Our society generally doesn't recognize the significance of pet loss, nor does it allow for 'proper' bereavement.
Some things that can make your grief harder to deal with are: lack of support or understanding, guilt over making the decision to euthanize, and wondering how to discuss it with your children. One of the most important things you can do to get through the difficult time of bereavement is allow yourself to feel it. Holding it in and hiding it is generally not conducive to working through the feelings.
How Do I Tell My Children?
You are the best judge of how to discuss the loss with your little ones. Honesty is important, and you should encourage your children to talk out their feelings with you. This may be the first time a child has dealt with death in any way, and an opportunity for you to help them understand how to grieve, as well as clear up any misconceptions they may have about death and dying.
For example, if you tell them the pet was "put to sleep," they may become fearful of sleeping. You will also need to let your child(ren) know that the pet will not be returning, and it's probably a good idea to make sure they know it isn't their fault.
Euthanasia: The Difficult Choice
There may come a time when you will have to make the decision to help your pet ease from this life due to illness or injury. Your veterinarian can advise you in this, but ultimately you will need to determine your pet's quality of life and when to end the suffering.
One way to determine if it is time is to consider what your pet's three favorite activities are, and if they are unable to participate in them - then a final act of love is needed.
The choice to stay for the euthanasia or not is a personal one. Some vets will make a home visit to ease the transition, others prefer not to have the owner present at all. You'll want to discuss your desires and concerns with your vet, and if they are unable or unwilling to accommodate you, then perhaps you should ask for a referral.
What's Next?
After your pet's death, you will need to decide how to handle the remains. It may seem easiest to leave your pet with a clinic for disposal (a fee may apply - check with them), but there are several other options available to you.
Home burial is a popular choice, but you'll need to have the land, and make sure it's legal in your area.
There are pet cemeteries in many areas, and for some, that is the best choice. You'll need to consider cost, which is based on what services you choose, and what type of pet it is.
Cremation is generally less expensive than a cemetery, and offers up more options as to what you do with the remains. You can choose to keep the ashes with you, scatter them somewhere special, or bury them. Your vet, a pet store, or local shelter is likely to have more information about the options available in your area. It might be a good idea to have a plan in place ahead of time, rather than trying to muddle through in the midst of your grief.
When Should I Get Another Pet?
You may be tempted to rush right out and get another pet just like the one you lost. However, it might be better to mourn your old pet and wait until you're more emotionally ready. You'll also need to be careful of expecting the new pet to be the exact same as the older, which can lead to disappointment and frustration.
Children may feel it's disloyal to love a new pet, especially if what they really want is the old pet back. In most cases, it is better to get a pet that is different from your old one, to avoid making comparisons, but you will know what you and your family can handle.
If you live alone, you may want to find a new pet sooner, to help stave off loneliness and give you a sense of purpose and companionship.
You'll also need to consider the needs of any other pets you have.
Pet Loss Resources:
Pet Loss Support Page - This page is a little cluttered, but has extensive resources, including many international ones, as well as several articles and many links to other helpful pages.
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement - Professionally trained volunteers in pet bereavement counseling, and many resources.
Coping With Pet Loss - Resources for dealing with grief of losing a pet as well as how to help somebody else dealing with it.
Support Line Pet Bereavement - Article on dealing with pet loss with links and information specific to the UK.
Delta Society: The Human-Animal Health Connection - Offers up articles, information, and links that may be very useful (and quite a bit of information about pets in general and how they can benefit us).
Animal Love And Loss Network - Support and guidance for those mourning death, injury, or illness of a pet.
Pet Loss Memorial Pages:
Rainbow Bridge - Well known Rainbow Bridge poem. Also has resources about animal health and pet loss grief.
The Lighthouse - Pet loss grief support chats and message boards and memorial pages.
Pet Loss Hotlines:
US Pet Loss Hotlines:
C.A.R.E. (Companion Animal Related Emotions) Pet Loss Helpline - (877) 394-CARE (2273) Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings 7-9 pm CST
Washington State University Pet Loss Support - 1-(866) 266-8635 Phone and/or email message can be left for staff 24 hours a day. Phones are normally staffed during the semester Monday-Thursday from 7 PM-9 PM and Saturday 1PM-3 PM PST. While school is not in session and during holidays - abbreviated hours checking phone and email messages Monday-Thursday and Saturday once daily.
ASPCA National Pet Loss Hotline- 1-877-GRIEF-10
Iams Pet Loss Support Hotline 1-888-332-7738 M-F 9am-5pm
Canadian Pet Loss Hotlines:
Ontario Veterinary College Pet Loss Support Hotline - 519-824-4120 x53694 Tuesday - Thursday 6:00 pm -9:00 pm ET An answering service is available outside regular hotline hours.
Greater Victoria Area: Pacific Animal Therapy Society Pet Loss Support Line 1-250-389-8047 Daily 8:00 am – 9:00 pm Pacific Time
Edmonton: 780-707-3007, Pet Therapy Society; leave message if no response
UK Pet Loss Hotlines:
Pet Bereavement Support Service- 0800 096 6606 Daily 8.30am - 8.30pm
Animal Samaritans Pet Bereavement Service: 020 8303 1859
Australian Pet Loss Hotlines:
Pet Rest Grief Line - 03 9596 7799 from 12pm - 3pm 7 days a week
Related Resource Pages on Band Back Together:
