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Christmas Miracles & Other Assorted Acts of Baby Jesus

In an effort to distract myself from the horrible sadness that always falls upon me right about…NOW… every Christmas, I decided to check the sites that refer other people to my blog. It’s not something I really pay attention to very much because, well, obviously it’s kind of boring. But occasionally, it’ll lead me to some rad blogs I didn’t know existed.

Today, though, it lead me somewhere else.

Back to my very own about.me page.

You don’t know what an about.me page is? Me either. Not really. But I saw someone on The Twitter talking about it a couple of months ago and I was all IMMA GET ME AN ABOUT.ME PAGE, YO to my mirrored reflection. I didn’t know what it was then (it was in beta, which I think means “super awesome”) and I had to wait until this week to be told, “your about.me page is ready, yo.”

Then, I was all, I GOT AN ABOUT.ME PAGE, YO, and everyone was all, what the hell is an about.me page, Aunt Becky? And I was all, *shrugs* I don’t read fine print. I thought I’d figure it out when I got there. Which is my motto for life.

About.me was all, look at these other deep/meaningful profiles to help you make yours, Aunt Becky, except they weren’t like actually talking to me because that would be awkward. So I did, because obviously, and I was all, UGH, really? Because I am anything BUT deep/meaningful. And frankly, if you want someone to click on your profile, you should probably put something fucking INTERESTING on it. Calling yourself a “social media anything” is decidedly not interesting.

Just saying.

Because I take myself very seriously, this is what I came up with (my clickable about.me profile)

I think you can click to enlarge. If you can’t, CLICK THE LINK and it’ll take you to my actual about.me page.

Anyway, it’s clearly not something you should ever take seriously.

So I signed up and mostly forgot about it. I’ve been excruciatingly busy this week (year) and really, I couldn’t figure out what to do with it beyond open it and laugh.

Upon checking my referrals, though, I noticed something FRIGHTENING. About.me had more referrals to my blog than “John C. Mayer,” “sweater kittens,” “boring things,” and “sweater boobs,” COMBINED. I swear to you, Pranksters, I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks. Somehow, people are landing on my about.me and finding their way here.

Sometimes, I really, really love the Internet.

Merry Christmas, Pranksters. From my about.me page.

And this guy:

And who could forget this lovable chap?

Why, it’s Mr. Sprinkles, my fake dead cat! That charming scamp! That lovable lout!

And speaking of charming:

Alex and his Cupcake shirt, FOR THE WIN!

Benner and his picture smile.

And my daughter, Amelia, who has reminded me that even in the darkest darkness, there is always light.

Merry, Merry Christmas, Pranksters.

Coping in the time of Coronavirus.

We are in uncharted (for our times) territory. Never have we been asked to isolate like this. This means that there are a LOT of parents at home, all the time, with their children. It’s something they’ve likely never experienced. If you have never had the pleasure (sarcasm) of not being able to take a break from your children because there is nowhere to take them because nothing is open, you are very likely feeling the stress. And it is very, very likely you are scrambling for creative ways to get a damn break! So, I compiled a small list of things you can do. A bit of background on me, I have three kids, ages 14, 9, and 8. They’re pretty fun to be stuck with now. Now. But I experienced this whole isolation thing a bit when they were tiny toddlers and a second grader when a tropical storm rolled through and flooded everything. Nothing was open, there were no parks that were safe to go to, it sucked the life from my soul. As a result, I had to get creative. (Note, this is not the time to be super duper concerned about every second of their day. It’s just not.)

  1. Put your headphones on and blast some music. They’re short, they’ll be okay for like 15 minutes.
  2. Lay on the floor and let them race cars on your back. Are you away from them, no. Are you engaged with them, also no. Bonus: put out a bowl of goldfish and take a 15 minute nap. But not if your child is tiny.
  3. Nap when they nap. Naps are the tits.
  4. Read. Sit down with your book and when one of them tries to talk to you, tell them that you are having quiet reading time. Invite them to grab a book and do the same. No time like the present to start teaching boundaries. Parenting does not mean being at their beck and call.
  5. Make a pillow fort. One for you. Not for them. Put a sign up. Bring your you snacks. Growl at anyone that tries to come in.
  6. Join our group on Facebook or hit up the forums on here. We will listen, commiserate, and most importantly, not judge you for saying your toddler is a jackass. Because it’s true.
  7. Take a long shower. Or bath. Whichever, but lock the door. Booze is optional.
  8. Exercise. Find a fun new video on Youtube. Dance along with a music video. Move your booty.
  9. Give up your rigid schedule, if that’s stressing you out. This is not the time for schedules, we are all just trying to survive.
  10. Paint something, make something out of salt dough, be creative.
  11. Sit down with a cup of coffee or tea and write. Put pen to paper and write a page about things that are weighing on you. Write about how this has impacted your life. Write about how it has shifted your priorities. Or how it hasn’t. When you’re done, put it on the internet or don’t, but save it. Someday, you will look back and this will be a glimpse of history.
  12. Use your kids like dolls. Dress them up, put them in scenes, take their pictures. (And then share them :))
  13. Swear around the kids. Loudly. No one cares. Just don’t swear at them.
  14. Get silly. Get sad. Get stressed. Get crabby. These are all normal reactions to what’s going on. Whatever you are feeling, feel it.

Self-care for parents of littles right now, we see you, we know it’s not easy, and your ‘me-time’ isn’t going to look the same for a while. Grab it where you can and lean on who you can while staying healthy. We love you.

Do you have more ideas? Shout them out!

 

The Band’s Mascot of the Week: Little Leo

We at The Band Back Together Project know how stressful life – especially during these dark months – can be. So we’re going to brighten up your week with one of our Friends of The Band Facebook Group Thing because who doesn’t love an adorable animal picture? 

If you’d like to submit an awesome picture of your animal, you may do so by creating an account and adding media to a post about your animal, or by emailing becky@bandbacktogether.com or stacey@bandbacktogether.com!

My parents were moving across country (California) and asked me to take their cat in and I was all YAS because he is the sweetest and cutest cat – if you’re His Person. They’d named him after some Romantic artist I can’t remember, but I decided that he was Leo. Specifically, Little Leo. He was TINY.

He was one of those one person cats and thankfully, as I lord over Nathan frequently and with gusto, he loves me best.

Now that he’s not given free run of the house or the outdoors, he’s well, he’s chunked out.

He’s now called Big Fat Leo and we love each and every one of his rolls.

 

The Band’s Awesome Animal Of The Week: Lucy

We at The Band Back Together Project know how stressful life – especially during these dark months – can be. So we’re going to brighten up your week with one of our Friends of The Band Facebook Group Thing because who doesn’t love an adorable animal picture? 

If you’d like to submit an awesome picture of your animal, you may do so by creating an account and adding media to a post about your animal, or by emailing becky@bandbacktogether.com or stacey@bandbacktogether.com!

This is our goober Lucy. We sometimes call her bat dog and occasionally I call her the flying nun. Lucy owns her person, AK. 

The Band’s Awesome Animal of Week: Clementine

We at The Band Back Together Project know how stressful life – especially during these dark months – can be. So we’re going to brighten up your week with one of our Friends of The Band Facebook Group Thing because who doesn’t love an adorable animal picture? 

If you’d like to submit an awesome picture of your animal, you may do so by creating an account and adding media to a post about your animal, or by emailing becky@bandbacktogether.com or stacey@bandbacktogether.com!

From our wonderful friend TL:

This is our earless wonder Clementine.

She came to us as a foster and I just couldn’t let her go.

All our animals are foster fails, she’s just the most recent. Lol. Getting bigger every day at 7 months but she’s full of that kitten energy! When I go to the bed, so does she.

She helps socialize our other fosters and brings unending joy!!!

Are You There Santa? It’s Me, Margaret… A Holiday Round Robin

Preface: This is a holiday parody story, to be told Round-Robin Style. I’ll start us off. Please add a paragraph as you see fit in the comments. Let’s make each other laugh for the holidays!

A gift from Kate, Becky, and Stacey for the Holidays.

Happy Holidays

“Dear Santa, it’s me, Margaret” she said on her knees, prayer style because she already couldn’t understand, at 12, how a letter addressed, by snail mail, would reach the North Pole at all – with no zip code or anything, let alone by Christmas (only a week away). Why didn’t Santa publish an email address or have a website anyway? That’s what normal people do..

“Anyway, Santa, if you can hear me, cool, because I’ve been super good this year and only yell at my little brother when he deserves it and I really want a new tablet for Christmas with at least 1 gig of RAM and some Bluetooth headphones that will drown out my mom yelling at me to get off my tablet. Thanks Santa, Amen, or whatever…”

Having been raised a Secular Agnostic by college professors at Bryn Mawr, Margaret knew that the likelihood of Santa existing was probably nil but she *wanted* to believe so badly, she was willing to try anything….Plus her little 7 year old brother had gotten a light saber last year that made whooshing noises and everything even though she knew her parents hated Star Wars so maybe it *was* Santa? The movies all said so anyway.

She went out into the snow and made a snowball directing it at the nearby tree, when out popped something totally unexpected….

I leave it to you, Band, let’s make each other giggle by telling hilarious nonsense regaling Margaret’s belief or non belief in Santa…