Date or Acquaintance Rape Resources

by Band Back Together | Jul 18, 2018

For purposes of this article, the terms “sexual assault” and “rape” will be used interchangeably.

What is Date Rape?

Date rape, also known as acquaintance rape, is a sexual assault – or attempted sexual assault – committed by someone the sexual assault victim knows. Date rape, like other types of rape, involves sexual intercourse without mutual consent. Date rape is more appropriately called “acquaintance” rape, as “date” implies that the victim is in a relationship with his or her attacker.

While the term “rape” conjures up images of strangers attacking a random victim, almost 80% of rapes (or 4 out of every 5 rapes) are committed by people that the victim knows. A woman is four times more likely to be raped by someone she knows. Even if the perpetrator of the sexual assault has had previous consensual sexual relations with the victim, it is still illegal to force sex upon another.

Many people who have been raped by people that they know have a difficult time believing that what happened to them was rape. Rather than focusing upon the violation of the rape, he or she may blame him or herself for the rape.

It is important to remember that the act of rape has nothing to do with sex or passion or love – rape is always an act of aggression and violence.

The trauma of acquaintance rape is no less severe than a rape committed by a stranger.

How Common is Date Rape?

It’s unfortunate to note that date or acquaintance rape is far more common than you may think. While many rape victims do not report rape or sexual assaults, victims are even less inclined to report rape by someone that he or she knows.

The scary thing is that nearly 80% (4 out of 5 cases) of rapes are date rape situations. Effectively this means that a woman or man is 4 times more likely to be raped by someone she knows.

Who Commits Acquaintance Rape?

Those who commit acquaintance rape don’t have a particularly recognizable profile, there are some commonalities among those who commit acquaintance rape. These include:

• People who are aggressive in intimate relationships
• People who bend toward violence to solve problems
• People who are overly demanding of their partners.

A date rape perpetrator can be:

• Your partner
• An ex-partner
• A friend
• Someone you work with
• A new acquaintance

Acquaintance Rape Myths Dispelled:

“Men can’t be raped” – Most victims of acquaintance rape are female, but males can also be the victim of a sexual assault.

“He/She was asking for it” – Nobody “asks” to be raped.

“He/She just loves me – that’s how he/she shows it” – Rape is not a crime of love or passion – it is about violence and force.

“The victim had a lot of sexual partners” – It does not matter how many sexual partners a person has had – they still do not deserve to be raped.

“She was dressed provocatively. She was looking for sex” – Wearing a short skirt or skimpy clothing does not mean that someone is “asking for it,” or “deserves it.”

“He/She was wasted” – Being intoxicated by alcohol or other drugs does not imply consent to sexual intercourse.

“He/She bought me dinner!’ – Just because you buy dinner and drinks does not mean that you owe your date sex.

“He can’t control his urges – he’s a guy” – Guys CAN control their sexual urges.

“I didn’t fight back” – Even if you don’t fight back, it’s still rape.

“Only bad people get raped” – Even “nice” girls can be raped.

“Rapists LOOK like rapists” – Rapists are not generally scary looking people – they’re people from ordinary backgrounds of all ages.

“My attacker didn’t use a weapon, so it’s not rape” – It’s still rape even if the perpetrator does not use a gun or knife.

“I didn’t say NO” – Even if you did not expressly say no to the sexual encounter, there are many other ways that someone can insinuate that he or she is not in the mood for sex.

What Are The Three Stages of Acquaintance Rape?

In order to prevent an acquaintance rape, it helps to know what the stages of acquaintance rape are. Many of our societal norms dictate that we behave politely and passively around others. This means that we may suppress our feelings of discomfort and fear so that we don’t offend someone else. Above all else, no matter how rude you may feel, LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE – IT MAY TELL YOU WHEN SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.

Here are the three stages of acquaintance rape, as explained by RAINN:

1) Intrusion – this is an attempt by the rape perpetrator to violate the victim’s personal space and level of comfort. This may be demonstrated by revealing personal information, or via seemingly-accidental touches and stares.

2) Desensitization – this stage of acquaintance rape occurs when the victim feels comfortable around the rape perpetrator. He or she regards the intrusive behaviors as non-threatening. The victim during this stage of acquaintance rape may feel uneasy but often convinces him or herself that the feeling is unfounded.

3) Isolation – the rape perpetrator uses the victim’s trust to isolate the victim from others.

How Can I Spot The Warning Signs of a Date Rape?

There are a couple of things to keep in mind to try and avoid date or acquaintance rape.

• The most important thing when trying to prevent a date rape is this: Trust your gut – if it’s saying something’s wrong – LISTEN TO IT.

• Go out with a group when you’re going on a date.

• Organize your own way home so you don’t end up relying upon your date for a ride.

• Keep a cell phone on you.

• Most date rapes happen in the home, so be careful about inviting him or her inside and vice versa.

• Keep an eye on anyone who spends the night feeding you drinks. Being drunk can make your judgment VERY impaired.

• Keep an eye on your friends – make sure they’re not getting themselves into a dangerous situation.

• You ALWAYS have the right to say no. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

What Are The “Date Rape Drugs?”

Sometimes, rapists use extremely powerful drugs to assist in a sexual assault or acquaintance rape. These drugs may be slipped into a drink while the victim is not looking and may cause the victim to become weak, confused, and possibly pass out. Once a victim is passed out, he or she cannot resist sexual intercourse – and may not remember what happened.

These date rape drugs can be used on men and women and include the following:

Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) – a small, round, white pill (newer forms may be oval and grey-green colored) that dissolves in liquids. The dye in these new pills makes clear liquids turn bright blue and dark drinks cloudy – but the color change may be hard to note in a darkened room.

The effects of Rohypnol can be felt within 30 minutes and lasts a couple of hours. A person on Rohypnol may behave as though they are drunk – they may have trouble standing, speech may be slurred, or they may pass out.

Other effects may include:

• Feeling drunk
• Loss of muscle control
• Difficulties with movements
• Slurred speech – trouble talking
• Nausea/Stomach problems
• Amnesia – No memory of being drugged
• Confusion
• Dizziness
• Sleepiness
• Death

GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid) – comes in different forms – a colorless, odorless liquid, white powder or pill, that can give drinks a salty flavor that’s easily masked by juices or other sweet drinks. GHB takes effect about 15 minutes after it is ingested, and its effects can last 3-4 hours. Even a small amount can cause tremendous effects – so overdose on GHB is common.

Problems with GHB include:

• Sleepiness
• Nausea/Vomiting
• Problems with vision
• Dizziness
• Loss of consciousness
• Amnesia – cannot remember events that happened during drugging.
• Feeling as though in a dream
• Seizures
• Breathing difficulties
• Tremors
• Slowed heart rate
• Coma
• Death

Ketamine – comes in a liquid form or a white powder. Ketamine, or “Special K” is a fast-acting drug, that causes memory problems, inability to move, and amnesia. Other problems with Ketamine include:

• Distorted perceptions of sound and sight
• Inability to remember time and identity
• Out-of-body experiences and dream-like feelings
• Numbness
• Feeling out of control
• Problems with movement
• Impaired breathing
• Convulsions
• Vomiting
• Aggressive/violent outbursts
• High blood pressure
• Slurred speech

What About Alcohol?

Any drug that causes impaired judgment or different behaviors can put a person at risk for unwanted and/or risky sexual activity. Alcohol is known for such behaviors. Alcohol is also the most common drug used to aid in a sexual assault/rape. Why?

• It’s hard to think clearly while drunk
• It’s harder to set limits and make good choices while drunk
• It can be hard to tell if a situation is dangerous or bad
• It’s harder to say no to unwanted sexual advances
• It’s harder to fight back during a rape
• Blackouts and memory loss are common

Okay, How Do I Make Sure I’m Not A Victim To Date Rape Drugs?

There are some things to do to combat the usage of date rape drugs around you. Most of these are common sense ideas to avoid date rape drugs:

• Don’t take drinks from other people.

• If someone gives you a drink, don’t drink it.

• Open all containers yourself.

• Keep your drink with you all the time – even in the bathroom.

• Don’t drink anything from a punch bowl or other open containers as they may have been drugged.

• Don’t share your drink with anyone else or take a drink from someone else’s cup.

• Go with anyone who offers to get you a drink from the bar – watch as the drink is poured and carry it yourself.

• Don’t drink anything that tastes or smells weird – GHB may have a salty taste.

• Bring a designated driver, even if you’re walking – a sober buddy can help you make good decisions.

• Pour out any drinks you’ve left unattended.

• If you feel drunk and haven’t had much (or anything) to drink, call 911 immediately – some of these drugs can kill you.

How Do I Know If I Was Drugged and Sexually Assaulted?

Sometimes, it’s really hard to tell if you’ve been drugged with “date rape” drugs and raped – most people don’t remember being drugged or assaulted.

A victim may not remember the attack at all, or it may be 8-12 hours after the rape before he or she remembers it. The drugs used to facilitate sexual violence are fast acting and metabolize quickly. Unless the victim seeks help very quickly after the rape, he or she may not be able to prove that drugs were involved.

Signs that you may have been drugged and sexually assaulted include the following:

• Feeling drunk after only one drink or like the drinks are way stronger than normal.

• You wake up feeling super-hungover and confused – a whole chunk of time was lost.

• You can’t remember anything after your drink.

• Your clothes are torn, ripped or on your body the wrong way.

• You feel like you’ve had sex but have no memory of it.

What Do You Do If You’ve Been Drugged And Raped?

Call 911 and get medical care immediately. Alternately, find someone you trust to take you to the ER.

Don’t brush your teeth, urinate, wash your hands, eat, drink, change clothes, bathe, shower, douche before you go – this can remove valuable evidence of a rape.

Call the police from the ER – tell them all that you remember. Don’t be afraid to tell the story – nothing you have done means that you deserve to be raped.

Ask the hospital to test your urine for the date rape drugs – many of those metabolize quickly, so the sooner you can give a urine specimen, the better.

Don’t clean up the area where the sexual assault occurred – there could be evidence on a glass or on the sheets.

Be sure to follow up with a rape crisis counselor or a therapist who specializes in rape/sexual assault. You can call National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 to find a trauma counselor near you.

What Are The Feelings That I Might Feel After Rape By An Acquaintance?

After being raped by someone that you know, there are many feelings that you may feel. These feelings may be strange and new, but no matter how you feel, it’s normal. If you find yourself unable to cope after the rape, please seek professional help from a trained rape counselor.

Feelings post-rape may be any or all of the following:

• Problems sleeping
• Problems eating
• Wildly swinging moods
• Blaming yourself
• Feeling humiliated and ashamed
• Nightmares
• Anxiety and panic attacks
• Fear of leaving the house
• Fear of another rape
• Anger
• Feeling helpless
• Using alcohol or drugs to “feel better”
• Self-injury
• Thoughts of suicide
• Feeling depressed

How Do I Cope With Acquaintance Rape?

There are a lot of different factors that make coping with a sexual assault by someone that you know challenging. Common reactions to date rape may include:

• Fear of retaliation for reporting the attack

• Fears of being harassed and/or assaulted again

• Fears of being harassed by family and friends of the attacker

• Fear that another attack will occur.

Common myths can also hinder recovery from sexual assault. Common rape myths may include the following:

• The attack was caused by the victim dressing provocatively, “he/she asked for it.”

• The attack was caused by the victim being intoxicated.

• The attack was caused because the victim had already been intimate with the attacker on previous occasions.

Blame for the attack may also hinder recovery from a date/acquaintance rape. Types of blame include the following:

• Victim believes that he/she caused the attack by being drunk and/or intoxicated.

• Victim believes he/she didn’t say no loudly enough.

• Victim feels he/she lead the attacker on.

• Family and friends blame the victim for the attack.

Continued Trauma With Acquaintance Rape:

Unlike a rape attack from a stranger, someone who is raped by someone he or she knows has an added layer to their healing: they may be forced to confront their attacker in a social setting, even if the rape goes unreported. Fears of these encounters can cause increased shame and humiliation for someone who is the victim of acquaintance rape.

How To Heal After Acquaintance Rape:

Healing after such a confusing type of rape can be extremely difficult. We here at Band Back Together have compiled a resource for those of you who have been raped or know someone who has been raped.

Date Rape Hotlines:

IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CALL 911

If you have been sexually assaulted/raped and are in need of immediate assistance, call 1-800-656-HOPE.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Additional Resources For Date/Acquaintance Rape:

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) – the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE and the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at rainn.org, and publicizes the hotline’s free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to prevent sexual assault, improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.

Office on Women’s Health – US governmental website that has a list of common date rape drugs and their effects.

Joyful Heart Foundation: Created by Law and Order’s Mariska Hargitay for survivors of sexual abuse, domestic violence, and child abuse. Their mission is to educate, empower and shed light into these terrible crimes and help the survivors heal.

Hope for Healing: A website dedicated to helping male victims of rape/sexual assault.

End the Backlog: A charity organization seeking justice for survivors by working in partnership with government, non-profits, advocates, and survivors to bring attention, funding and new legislation to reduce the backlog of untested rape kits across the country.

National Sexual Violence Resource Center: the nation’s principle information and resource center regarding all aspects of sexual violence.

It Happened to Alexa Foundation: provide funds for families to travel and be with a rape victim for the duration of the trial.

Page last audited 7/2019

Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

by Band Back Together | Jul 18, 2018

What is Childhood Sexual Abuse?

Child Molestation or childhood sexual abuse is defined as the act of a person – adult or child – who forces, coerces or threatens a child to have any form of sexual contact or to engage in any type of sexual activity at the perpetrator’s direction.

Any sexual contact, whether it be overt or not, between a child and someone the child trusts, damages a child in countless ways.

Child sexual abuse is shockingly common – by the age of 18, one in five boys and one in three girls will have been the victim of child sexual abuse. Despite the prevailing myths surrounding childhood sexual abuse, we must make it very clear that BOTH girls AND boys can be the victim of childhood sexual abuse.

The sexually abused child will stop growing and developing emotionally when the first attack occurs. Recovery from child sexual abuse doesn’t begin until the sexual abuse survivor becomes an adult…if then.

What Are The Acts of Child Sexual Abuse?

Sexual intercourse is not the only way in which a child can be sexually abused or molested. Other child sexual abuse acts may include some combination of the following.

Offenses that include touching are:

• Fondling
• Penetration of a child’s vagina or anus with either a penis or an object when not performed for a valid medical reason
• Forcing a child to touch an adult’s sexual organs

Offenses without touching include:

• Exhibitionism or indecent exposure
• Masturbating in the presence of a child
• Presenting pornographic materials to a child
• Exposing a child to sexual intercourse on purpose

Sexual Exploitation can include:

• Creating pornography with children in photographs, film or any form of modeling
• Soliciting a child for prostitution

Three Stages of Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

Stage I: Initial Reactions To Sexual Abuse

• Post-traumatic Stress Reactions – flashbacks, nightmares.
• Changes in normal child development.
• Cognitive distortions

Stage II: Accommodation To Ongoing Sexual Abuse

• Usage of coping behaviors to increase safety and reduce pain during sexual abuse. Coping behaviors include: memory suppression, denial, dissociation, Stockholm Syndrome, accommodation syndrome.

Stage III: Long-Term Elaboration and Reflections:

• Normal childhood development distorted.
• Ongoing coping responses to the abuse.

What Are Some Common Reactions to Child Sexual Abuse During Childhood?

Responses and reactions to childhood sexual abuse are varied from person to person and can include:

Emotional Isolation – children who live through sexual abuse feel emotionally isolated. Often, the abuser threatens the child he or she is abusing that the child must keep the secret. This burden of secrecy may continue well into adulthood. Keeping a secret like being sexually abused can make the child feel different, apart from others – like he or she isn’t “normal”.

Betrayed Trust – a child who has been sexually abused has also had their trust fragmented, especially if his or her abuser was a family member. Trusting other people – and even trusting yourself – after experiencing childhood sexual abuse can be very difficult.

Self-Blame and Guilt – children often misinterpret the reason that he or she was sexually abused. The child may feel as though the sexual abuse was his or her fault, or a punishment for misbehaving. The sexual assault perpetrator may even have told the child that he or she was “being punished” for “being bad.” As most children assume that adults are “right,” and the guilt and shame for being punished in such a violating manner can persist well into adulthood.

Triggers – childhood sexual abuse survivors often have things that trigger memories of the abuse. These triggers can include things like gynecological exams, childbirth, sexual touch from partners, certain smells, some colors, types of furniture or cars, can bring back memories that hold feelings about the abuse. These triggers can be very vivid and painful for a sexual assault survivor.

Challenges Affecting Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

All victims of sexual assault take time to heal. Because childhood sexual abuse interrupted an important developmental process and broke feelings of trust during a particularly vulnerable time, adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse may have stronger, different reactions than other sexual assault survivors.

Mourning – an adult survivor of sexual abuse may come to realize just how much he or she lost after he or she was victimized. Childhood sexual abuse means loss of innocence, loss of childhood experiences, loss of trust, innocence, a normal family dynamic. These losses must be named, grieved, then buried, to move on with your life.

Depression – among childhood sexual abuse survivors, the highest reported symptom is depression.

Suicidal Ideation – adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse may think often about death, dying and wishing they would die. If you, or someone you love, is considering suicide, please call The National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-8255.

Anger – many children who were sexually abused grow to feel very angry – the type of anger that is directed at fate or a deity, not at a person or a situation. Adult survivors of sexual abuse may feel anger at themselves – for not preventing the abuse, anger at the abuser, or anger at parents/caregivers for not protecting the child from the sexual abuse. As a child, your anger was powerlessness – it had no effect on the abuser.

Relationship Difficulties – sexually abused children are at the whim of their abuser and what the abuser wants. The adult’s desires and wants come ahead of the child’s needs. Often, the sexual abuse has been kept secret for many years. As a result, adult survivors of sexual abuse may struggle in relationships. They may put the needs of their partner well before their own. They may have problems asserting themselves with their partner, colleagues, family and friends.

Romantic Relationship Difficulties: an intimate relationship involves some amount of trust, respect, love, and intimacy. Learning to trust after the broken trust of childhood sexual abuse is beyond difficult. While learning to trust again, adult survivors may vacillate from being un-trusting to too trusting. There may also be an unhealthy fear of intimacy which can lead adult survivors to flee from intimacy or cling too tightly for fear of losing the relationship.

Sexuality – the childhood sexual abuse survivor likely had his or her first experience with sex as a result of the sexual abuse. This can make sex and sexuality very confusing for an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse. During sexual acts as an adult, body memories may flood the body, interfering with the ability to have normal sexual relationships, may make the survivor scared, ashamed, and frustrated. On the opposite end of the spectrum, some adult survivors become overly promiscuous as a result of that childhood trauma.

Self-Harming Behaviors – to avoid the overwhelming memories and feelings of being a sexual abuse survivor, many people resort to self-harm and self-injury. An adult sexual abuse survivor may cut, burn, or otherwise maim parts of their body – including the genitals.

Eating Difficulties – many adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse have problems with eating. They may also have issues with self-image. These problems with eating can involve starving themselves, binging and purging, or overeating.

Low Self-Esteem: due to the negative messages received by the abuser and internalized a result of childhood sexual abuse, low self esteem is common among adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Substance Use and Abuse: due to the horrifying memories and jagged emotional scars left on adult survivors, many choose to self-medicate their problems away by using drugs and alcohol – leaving them numb. This clearly creates greater issues in the future.

How To Recover From Childhood Sexual Abuse:

People who seek out counseling or professional support of some kind have a chance to move forward and having a successful, safe and happy adult life. A therapist will be able to provide you with some coping techniques in order to move on with your life as a survivor, not a victim.

Adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse often develop strategies for survival to protect themselves from the trauma that occurred in their childhood. Many people never discuss the abuse with anyone which is not healthy and can lead to harmful coping techniques.

Treatment for Childhood Sexual Abuse:

After a therapist, trained in trauma and abuse counseling is located, this is what an adult survivor can expect from therapy. It’s important to note that if an adult survivor does not feel comfortable with a therapist, he or she should shop around to find a better therapist.

Early Phases of Therapy: an adult childhood sexual abuse survivor works with a therapist to build trust in preparation for the healing process. The adult survivor is encouraged to share their stories of childhood sexual abuse, which may be difficult. Many of these memories may be jumbled up, fragmented, not along a timeline or continuum.

Middle Phases of Therapy: This is where the hard work of therapy begins, including reprocessing the trauma in these steps:

1. Acknowledge the childhood sexual abuse and the impact it has had on the adult survivor’s life.
2. Experiencing, then releasing some of the feelings associated with the trauma. Many times, these feelings have been unexpressed until now.
3. Exploring the feelings toward the abuser, the non-protective parents or caretakers.
4. Then making cognitive reassessments about the abuse, exploring the “why did it happen?” and “who was responsible?”

Once these steps have been repeated over and over, the traumatic events are confronted then processed. The adult survivor is then un-stuck in time, and the abused child is integrated into the adult self, so they can work together toward a goal. Cognitive restructuring, education, and creation of new coping strategies are learned and experienced.

A clear line between the present and the past can then be drawn, which places the adult survivor in more control of his or her life.

Termination Phase: the adult survivor has been empowered to make choices and decisions without the counselor. This forces the adult survivor to establish other support networks, like self-help group, friends, partners or other family members.

Self-Help For Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

Locate a therapist in your area who specializes in adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and make an appointment.

It’s okay to not want to see a therapist, but you should talk about what happened to you. It will release the pent-up emotions you’ve been holding on to.

Remember that the abuse was not your fault – it does not mean that you are trashy, dirty, or bad. The shame you feel should be the shame felt by your attacker.

Don’t tell yourself that “you should be over it by now.” The sexual abuse occurred during a pivotal time in your life, it disrupted normal childhood development, and it destroyed your childhood.

Take the time you need to mourn the loss of your childhood, the loss of your innocence, the loss of trust. Acknowledge that these losses occurred and take the time you need to grieve each of them.

Do not rush the grieving process – all of those feelings have been suppressed for so long that it will take a good deal of time to work through them.

Tell yourself that you are strong, and you will become something better than your abuser tried to make you.

Get to know yourself, mentally and physically. Reclaim your body as your own. Baby steps. Always baby steps. Celebrate your progress no matter how big or small.

It’s okay to be afraid to let a partner get to know you too fast. Or to be intimate. You set your own pace. Take your time to learn to trust them and yourself.

You are allowed to tell your partner that you want to take a step back if you find that being intimate is more than you think you can handle. If they care about you, they will understand. And if they don’t understand, then you deserve someone better.

It’s okay to enjoy sex as just sex. It does not make you a bad person because you have physical needs. Your abuser did not do this to you.

How to Help An Adult Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

There are some ways that you can help an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Listen. Listen without judgment. If an adult survivor wants to tell you about what happened, know that this is a big leap of faith for them.

Tell them, “I believe you.” An adult survivor fears that people do not believe the sexual abuse occurred – often because they’ve been told that the abuse was all in his or her head.

Tell the adult survivor that you are always there whenever you need them – for whatever you need.

Don’t try to force them to talk about the sexual abuse. They’ve kept quiet about it for a reason.

If a male friend tells you that he is an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it is extremely important that you tell him that you believe him. This is especially important as most men do not admit to being sexually abused.

Remind the adult survivor that it’s okay to trust their partner – their partner is not their abuser.

Don’t tell them time will heal all. While it may be true, it’s a cliche that sounds both dismissive and rude.

An adult survivor may worry about having kids, or being around kids, out of fear that they will perpetuate the vicious cycle of abuse. Tell them they are strong and can break the cycle.

If the adult survivor is nervous about having children, suggest a pet to ease into caring for someone dependent upon them.

Don’t tell them “it’s in the past.” For an adult survivor, it may still be very present in their minds.

Sexual Assault Hotlines:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE

The National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-8255

Additional Resources For Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

Wings Foundation A private, not-for-profit agency founded in 1982 to help break the cycle and heal the wounds of childhood sexual abuse.

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network The United States’ largest anti-sexual violence organization.

American Humane Association Ensuring the wellness and well-being of children and animals. Unleashing the full potential of the bond between humans and animals to the mutual benefit of both.

HAVOCA is run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. We provide support, friendship and advice for any adult who’s life has been affected by childhood abuse.

Child Abuse Resources

by Band Back Together | Jul 12, 2018

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD

What Is Child Abuse?

Child abuse is an act by a parent or caretaker that results or allows a child to be subjected to emotional harm, physical injury, sexual assault, or death. Emotional abuse, neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse are different types of child abuse.

Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional or physical harm.

Almost 5 children die every day as a result of child abuse. Three-fourths of those children are under the age of four.

It is estimated that between 60-85% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.

Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

Long-Term Effects of Child Abuse:

While there are several types of child abuse, all child abuse leaves lasting scars long after broken bones heal.

Difficulties with relationships. Growing up in a negligent and abusive environment damages the ability to easily trust another person.

Emotional Irregularities. Thanks to being unable to express emotions as children, adult child abuse survivors may have unexplained emotional irregularity, like unexplained depression or anxiety.

Core feelings of being worthless and damaged. It’s very difficult to overcome the feelings that, as an abused child, you were to blame for the abuse. As adults, it’s common to accept that those core feelings of worthlessness are facts. This may lead to settling for less than  deserved in every aspect of adult life.

What Are The Types of Child Abuse?

As there can be a number of types of child abuse, it is important to note that most children are abused in a number of ways and may exhibit a great number of symptoms.

Physical Child Abuse:

Physical Child Abuse is when a parent, loved one, family friend, or caregiver causes any non-accidental physical injury to a child. There are many signs of physical abuse. If you see any of the following signs, please get help right away. Nearly 29% of adults report that they were physically abused as a child. Physical abuse may include striking, kicking, burning, biting, hair pulling, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping or any other action that injures a child. Even if the caregiver didn’t mean to cause injury, when the child is injured – it is abuse. Physical discipline from a parent that does not injure or impair a child is not considered abuse; however non-violent alternatives are always available.

Physical abuse can result in:

• Bruises, blisters, burns, cuts, and scratches
• Internal injuries, brain damage
• Broken bones, sprains, dislocated joints
• Emotional and psychological harm
• Lifelong injury, death

Signs of physical abuse in parent or caregiver:

• Can’t or won’t explain injury of child, or explains it in a way that doesn’t make sense
• Displays aggression to child or is overly anxious about child’s behavior
• Indicates child is not trustworthy, a liar, evil, a troublemaker
• Delays or prevents medical care for child
• Takes child to different doctors or hospitals
• Keeps child from school, church, clubs
• Has history of violence and/or abuse

Signs and symptoms of physical abuse in a child:

Physical Symptoms:

• Any injury to a child who is not crawling yet
• Visible and severe injuries
• Injuries at different stages of healing
• On different surfaces of the body
• Unexplained or explained in a way that doesn’t make sense
• Distinctive shape
• Frequency, timing and history of injuries (frequent, after weekends, vacations, school absences)

Behavioral Symptoms:

• Aggression toward peers, pets, other animals
• Seems afraid of parents or other adults
• Fear, withdrawal, depression, anxiety
• Wears long sleeves out of season
• Violent themes in fantasy, art, etc.
• Nightmares, insomnia
• Reports injury, severe discipline
• Immaturity, acting out, emotional and behavior extremes
• Self-destructive behavior or attitudes

Child Neglect:

Child neglect is when a parent or caregiver does not give the care, supervision, affection and support needed for a child’s health, safety, and well-being. Child neglect may involve:

• Physical neglect and inadequate supervision
• Emotional neglect
• Medical neglect
• Educational neglect

Physical Child Neglect: Children need enough care to be healthy and enough supervision to be safe. Adults that care for children must provide clothing, food and drink. A child also needs safe, healthy shelter, and adequate supervision.

Examples of physical child neglect:

• Deserting a child or refusing to take custody of a child who is under your care
• Repeatedly leaving a child in another’s custody for days or weeks at a time
• Failing to provide enough healthy food and drink
• Failing to provide clothes that are appropriate to the weather
• Failing to ensure adequate personal hygiene
• Not supervising a child appropriately
• Leaving the child with an inappropriate caregiver
• Exposing a child to unsafe/unsanitary environments or situations

Emotional Child Neglect: Children require enough affection and attention to feel loved and supported. If a child shows signs of psychological illness, it must be treated.

Examples of emotional child neglect:

• Ignoring a child’s need for attention, affection and emotional support
• Exposing a child to extreme or frequent violence, especially domestic violence
• Permitting a child to use drugs, use alcohol, or engage in crime
• Keeping a child isolated from friends and loved ones

Medical Neglect Some states do not prosecute parents who withhold certain types of medical care for religious reasons, but they may get a court order to protect the child’s life. Parents and caregivers must provide children with appropriate treatment for injuries and illness. They must also provide basic preventive care to make sure their child stays safe and healthy.

Examples of medical neglect:

• Not taking child to hospital or appropriate medical professional for serious illness or injury
• Keeping a child from getting needed treatment
• Not providing preventative medical and dental care
• Failing to follow medical recommendations for a child

Educational Neglect: Parents and schools share responsibility for making sure children have access to opportunities for academic success.

Examples of educational neglect:

• Allowing a child to miss too much school
• Not enrolling a child in school (or not providing comparable home-based education)
• Keeping a child from needed special education services

Signs of Child Neglect: There is no “smoking gun” for most child neglect cases. While even one instance of neglect can cause lifelong harm to a child, neglect often requires a pattern of behavior over a period of time for the child to develop symptoms:

Signs of Child Neglect in Caregivers/Parents:

There is no “typical neglectful parent.” Nevertheless, certain indicators may suggest a parent or caregiver needs help to nurture and protect the child or children in their care:

• Displays indifference or lack of care toward the child
• Depression, apathy, drug/alcohol abuse and other mental health issues
• Denies problems with child or blames the child for problems
• Views child negatively
• Relies on child for own care and well-being

Signs of Neglect in the Child:

While a single indicator may not be cause for alarm, children who are neglected often show that they need help:

• • Clothing that is the wrong size, in disrepair, dirty, or not right for the weather
  • Often hungry, stockpiles food, seeks food, may even show signs of malnutrition (like distended belly, protruding bones)
  • Very low body weight, height for age
  • Often tired, sleepy, listless
  • Hygiene problems, body odor
  • Talks about caring for younger siblings, not having a caregiver at home
  • Untreated medical and dental problems, incomplete immunizations
  • Truancy, frequently incomplete homework, frequent changes of school

Child Sexual Abuse:

Child sexual abuse occurs when an adult uses a child for sexual purposes or involves a child in sexual acts. It also includes when a child who is older or more powerful uses another child for sexual gratification or excitement. Over 21% of adults report being sexually abused as a child.

Sexual abuse of children includes:

• Non-contact abuse
• Making a child view a sex act
• Making a child view or show sex organs
• Inappropriate sexual talk
• Contact abuse
• Fondling and oral sex
• Penetration
• Making children perform a sex act
• Exploitation
• Child prostitution and child pornography

Signs of sexual abuse in parent or caregiver:

• Parent fails to supervise child
• Unstable adult presence
• Jealous/possessive parent
• Sexual relationships troubled or dysfunctional
• Parent relies on child for emotional support

Signs of sexual abuse in a child:

Physical:

• Difficulty sitting, walking, bowel problems
• Torn, stained, bloody undergarments
• Bleeding, bruises, pain, swelling, itching of genital area
• Frequent urinary tract infections or yeast infections
• Any sexually transmitted disease or related symptoms

Behavioral:

• Reports sexual abuse
• Doesn’t want to change clothes (e.g., for P.E.)
• Withdrawn, depressed, anxious
• Eating disorders, preoccupation with body
• Aggression, delinquency, poor peer relationships
• Poor self-image, poor self-care, lack of confidence
• Sudden absenteeism, decline in school performance
• Substance abuse, running away, recklessness, suicide attempts
• Sleep disturbance, fear of bedtime, nightmares, bed wetting (at advanced age)
• Sexual acting out, excessive masturbation
• Unusual or repetitive soothing behaviors (hand-washing, pacing, rocking, etc.)
• Sexual behavior or knowledge that is advanced or unusual

Child Emotional Abuse:

Child Emotional Abuse occurs when a parent or caregiver harms a child’s mental and social development, or causes severe emotional harm. While a single incident may be abuse, most often emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that causes damage over time. Nearly 11% of adults report being emotionally abused as a child.

Emotional abuse can include:

• Rejecting or ignoring: telling a child he or she is unwanted or unloved, showing little interest in child, not initiating or returning affection, not listening to the child, not validating the child’s feelings, breaking promises, cutting child off in conversation
• Shaming or humiliating: calling a child names, criticizing, belittling, demeaning, berating, mocking, using language or taking action that takes aim at child’s feelings of self-worth
• Terrorizing: accusing, blaming, insulting, punishing with or threatening abandonment, harm or death, setting a child up for failure, manipulating, taking advantage of a child’s weakness or reliance on adults, slandering, screaming, yelling
• Isolating: keeping child from peers and positive activities, confining child to small area, forbidding play or other stimulating experiences
• Corrupting: engaging child in criminal acts, telling lies to justify actions or ideas, encouraging misbehavior

Signs of emotional abuse in parent or caregiver:

• Routinely ignores, criticizes, yells at or blames child
• Plays favorites with one sibling over another
• Poor anger management or emotional self-regulation
• Stormy relationships with other adults, disrespect for authority
• History of violence or abuse
• Untreated mental illness, alcoholism or substance abuse

Physical:

Delays in development, including:

• Wetting bed, pants
• Speech disorders
• Health problems like ulcers, skin disorders
• Obesity and weight fluctuation

Behavioral:

• Habits like sucking, biting, rocking
• Learning disabilities and developmental delays
• Overly compliant or defensive
• Extreme emotions, aggression, withdrawal
• Anxieties, phobias, sleep disorders
• Destructive or anti-social behaviors (violence, cruelty, vandalism, stealing, cheating, lying)
• Behavior that is inappropriate for age (too adult, too infantile)
• Suicidal thoughts and behaviors

What Do I Say To An Abused Child?

If you’re in a situation where a child discloses abuse to you, there are a number of steps you can take.

• Listen carefully to the child. Avoid expressing your own views on the matter. A reaction of shock or disbelief could cause the child to ‘shut down’, retract or stop talking
• Let them know they’ve done the right thing. Reassurance can make a big impact to the child who may have been keeping the abuse secret
• Tell them it’s not their fault. Abuse is never the child’s fault and they need to know this
• Say you will take them seriously. A child could keep abuse secret in fear they won’t be believed. They’ve told you because they want help and trust you’ll be the person to believe them and help them
• Don’t talk to the alleged abuser. Confronting the alleged abuser about what the child’s told you could make the situation a lot worse for the child
• Explain what you’ll do next. If age appropriate, explain to the child you’ll need to report the abuse to someone who will be able to help
• Don’t delay reporting the abuse. The sooner the abuse is reported after the child discloses the better. Report as soon as possible so details are fresh in your mind and action can be taken quickly.
• Child abuse is rarely faked, so it’s important to take any allegations of abuse seriously. If a child comes to you with claims of abuse, call 1-800-4AChild to report abuse or get help.
• Reassure the abused child that it was not their fault; that they did nothing wrong. It’s hard to come forward and the feelings of guilt are strong for an abused child.
• Don’t play interrogator and fire questions at the child because it will only confuse them and make them feel as though you’re questioning the validity of their claims of abuse.
• Remain as calm as you can.
• Make sure that the child is safe. Do not put yourself or that child at risk. Alert the professionals to the abuse.

Child Abuse Hotlines:

National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (US, its territories, and Canada)

National Youth Crisis Hotline – 1-800-HIT-HOME

For Parents: 1-855-4-A-PARENT

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

Canadian Child Abuse Hotlines:

Child Abuse Prevention: 310-1234 (no area code needed)

Child Abuse Resources For Parents:

National Parent Helpline Resources and an anonymous helpline staffed by volunteers to help foster emotional support for parents and build stronger families.

Parents Anonymous is a child abuse prevention organization dedicated to supporting families creating strong communities and safe homes for all children.

Abuse Lawsuit.com – We provide legal support and advocacy for survivors of institutionalized sexual abuse. No amount of legal recourse can reverse the pain and damages brought on by sexual abuse, but we believe survivors deserve compensation for the physical and emotional damages wrought by abuse of power.

Professional Resources for Child Abuse:

Nurse-Family Partnership – a voluntary, free maternal and childhood health program, Nurse-Family Partnership gives first-time moms valuable knowledge and support throughout pregnancy and until their babies reach two years of age. Partnering first-time moms with caring nurse home visitors empowers these mothers to confidently create a better life for their children and themselves.

Darkness to Light – nationally available program proven to increase knowledge, improve attitudes and change child protective behaviors. This site also has a list of state-by-state resources.

National Children’s Alliance: is a professional membership organization dedicated to helping local communities respond to allegations of child abuse in ways that are effective and efficient – and put the needs of child victims first.

For Victims of Child Abuse:

Childhelp – dedicated to preventing and treating child abuse. If you are being abused, know that no one has the right to do this to you. Please call the hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD, then press one. The hotline is confidential which means you don’t have to tell them who you are. It is also free, so no one will see the number on your phone bill.

This hotline is staffed by degreed, professional counselors who are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. All calls are anonymous and toll-free. Use this number if you know or suspect a child is being abused; if you are a child who is being abused; of if you abuse or fear you may abuse your children

Page last audited 7/2018

Anger Resources

by Band Back Together | Jul 11, 2018

What is Anger?

Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people, however, the degree to which, the triggers for it, and the reactions to it are varied throughout people. Generally, anger triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured, mistreated, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with problems that keep us from attaining our goals.

The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are always getting angry while others seldom feel angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day and annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion.

Anger can be constructive or destructive. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action to correct that wrong thing. How you end up handling the anger signal has very important consequences for your overall health and welfare, however. When you express anger, your actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too. Blood pressure rises and stress hormones flow. Violence can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous ‘loose cannon’ whom no one wants to be around.

Out of control anger alienates friends, co-workers and family members. It also has a clear relationship with health problems and early mortality. Hostile, aggressive anger not only increases your risk for a premature death but also your risk for social isolation, which itself is a major risk factor for serious illness and death. These are but two of many reasons why learning to properly manage anger is a good idea.

While anger is a normal, usually healthy emotion everyone experiences from time to time, when anger becomes uncontrollable, it often causes problems at home and at work.

What Causes Anger?

Anger may happen instinctively in humans and other animals to protect territory, offspring and family members, secure mating privileges, prevent loss of possessions or food, and other perceived threats. Often anger is caused by  “perceived loss of control over factors affecting important values.” The values may be related to pride, love, money, justice, and so on.

Factors that commonly make people angry are:

• Grief after a major loss (death of a loved one, loss of a job, homelessness)
• Feelings of sexual frustration
• Disappointment or failure
• Rudeness and injustice
• Exhaustion
• Hunger
• Pain
• Use of or withdrawal from alcohol, drugs, medications, or other addictive substances
• Physical conditions, such as pre-menstrual syndrome
• Physical or mental illness
• Being teased, bullied, or humiliated
• Embarrassment and shame
• Stress, for example, over deadlines or financial problems
• Traffic jams
• Sloppy service
• Infidelity
• Burglary
• Being told you have a serious illness.

What Are The Ways We React To Anger?

There are a multitude of reasons that we become angry, and these vary from person to person.

Expressing Anger:

As anger is an adaptive response to threats that allows us to defend ourselves when we’re attacked, anger is necessary for survival, but we must place limits on how far we allow anger to take us.

1) Expressing anger in an assertive way by making your needs known and expressing how to get them met is the healthiest way of handling anger.

2) Suppressing anger happens when you hold the anger inside and focus on something else, converting your feelings into more productive behavior. Suppressing anger can be helpful, but if the anger remains unexpressed, it turns inward.

3) Unexpressed Anger can lead to a cynical disposition marked by passive-aggressive behavior. Those who criticize others or put them down haven’t learned how to properly express anger.

Signs You May Have Uncontrollable Anger:

• Are you angry a lot of the time?

• Are you angry without an identifiable cause?

• Has anyone ever said they are afraid of you?

• Have you found yourself in difficult situations (personally or professionally) because you acted in anger without considering the consequences of your words or actions?

• Do your spouse and/or friends avoid conflict with you?

• Has someone ever received a bruise as a result of your actions during an argument?

• Have you ever broken an object (glass, chair, vase, ashtray, etc.) during or right after an argument?

• Has a loved one ever accused you of being angry and you felt you had to prove him or her wrong?

• Have you ever surprised yourself by how angry you got and by what you did?

• Have you ever hurt yourself punching or kicking a wall?

• Have you ever been “blind” with rage, or could not remember what you did when angry?

What Are The Health Repercussions of Anger?

Anger takes a lot out of a person. When you’re angry, your body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol. Slowly, your heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, and breathing rate increase.

Regular anger can eventually make people ill because recurrent, unmanaged anger can result in a constant flood of stress chemicals which is hard on your body and can lead to metabolic changes that eventually undermine your health.

The following physical health problems may occur:

• Backache
• Headaches
• Hypertension, or high blood pressure
• Insomnia
• Irritable bowel syndrome, or other digestive disorders
• Skin disorders
• Stroke
• Heart attack
• Lower pain threshold
• Weakened immune system, resulting in more infections, colds, and influenza.

Emotional and mental consequences of frequent, uncontrolled anger include:

• Depression and moodiness
• Eating disorders
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Self-injury
• Low self-esteem.

Ways To Keep Your Anger Managed:

Anger management involves skills of recognizing the signs of anger and taking action to deal with the situation in a positive way. It does not mean holding the anger in or avoiding angry feelings. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion when expressed appropriately.

Anger management teaches people how to recognize frustrations at an early stage, and to settle them in a way that allows the person to express their needs, while remaining calm and in control.

Coping with anger is an acquired skill.

Anger management helps a person to identify what triggers their emotions, and how to respond for a positive outcome.

A person whose anger is having negative consequences on a relationship, or is leading to violent or dangerous behavior may be advised to see a mental health counselor or to take an anger management class.

Some ways to manage your anger include:

Relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation can help control anger.

Take a break. Sometimes, our environment may irritate us to the point of anger. Make sure you have some personal time scheduled each day.

Solve problems with a plan. Since not all anger is misplaced, sometimes anger is a natural response to a very difficult situation without a “right” answer. Rather than focus on the solution, figure out how to manage the problem by making – and sticking to – a plan. Give it your best, but don’t become angry at yourself if you can’t find an answer immediately.

Change the way you think:

• Use cold logic on yourself as logic is rational and anger is irrational.

• Avoid using “always” and “never” when talking to yourself or someone else.

• Remind yourself that anger makes you feel worse, not better.

• Replace inner negative thoughts with more positive ones.

Use humor to diffuse rage and provide a more balanced perspective. Imagine the asshole that cut you off on the highway is actually a giant asshole. This should take some of the edge off the anger.

Recording the feelings during an episode, and what happened before, during, and after may help a person to anticipate anger triggers, and to cope when episodes occur.

Understanding what happened, what worked and what did not work can help to achieve a more effective anger management plan.

Don’t Repress: It is important not to repress the anger, but to express it when the person has calmed down, in an assertive, non-aggressive way.

Regular exercise can regulate levels of adrenaline and cortisol levels, as well as increasing levels of endorphins, the natural feel-good hormones. You will also sleep better; a crucial factor for good mental health.

Plan Ahead: If you’re is bothered by something, planning what to say beforehand can help prevent the conversation from getting sidetracked.

Focusing on the solution, not just the problem is more likely to resolve the issue.

Letting go of resentment helps, because bearing grudges fuels the anger and makes it harder to control. Other people are the way they are, and accepting this can help.

Timing is important. If evening discussions tend to turn into rows, possibly due to tiredness, change the times when you talk about important matters.

Anger can increase breathing and heart rates and tense up the muscles, but this can be reversed by deliberately slowing the breathing and systematically relaxing and loosening the muscles.

Getting at least 7 hours of good quality sleep every night contributes to good mental and physical health. Sleep deprivation has been linked to a number of health problems, including anger.

Use better communication by slowing down and thinking through your responses before spurting them out. Being defensive when criticized is normal, but listen to what the other person is saying before jumping to conclusions and acting out in anger.

Therapeutic counseling and classes are often recommended for people whose anger causes them to do things they regret, cause harm to the people around them, or whose behaviors are taking a toll on their personal and professional lives.

Know when to walk away: If you are confronted by a person who is irrationally angry, the best course of action is to walk away. It’s important to take reasonable precautions to protect yourself if leaving is difficult or impossible.

Therapy For Anger:

Anger management therapy may be in group sessions, or one-on-one with a counselor or psychotherapist.

If the person is diagnosed with a mental health condition, such as depression, anger management should take this into account.

In anger management training, a person learns to:

• Identify what makes them angry
• Respond in a non-aggressive way to anger triggers, before getting angry
• Handle the triggers
• Identify moments when thought processes are not leading to logical and rational conclusions, and to correct their thinking
• Return to a state of calm and peace when anger surges
• Express feelings and needs assertively in situations that normally lead to anger and frustration, without becoming aggressive
• Redirect energy and resources into problem-solving rather than anger.

First, the person needs to learn to fully recognize their anger. The following questions may help:

• How do I know when I am angry?
• What type of people, situations, events, places, triggers make me angry?
• How do I respond when I am angry? What do I do?
• What impact does my angry reaction have on other people?

It can help to understand that anger and calmness are not clear-cut emotions. Anger can range from mild irritation to full rage. Knowing this can help people to understand when they are really angry and when they are just irritated.

Emotional symptoms that may develop as a person moves from irritation to rage include:

• A desire to escape from the situation
• Irritation
• Sadness or depression
• Guilt
• Resentment
• Anxiety
• Desire to lash out verbally
• Desire to lash out physically.

The following signs may also occur:

• Rubbing the face with the hand
• Fidgeting, or clasping one hand with the other
• Pacing around
• Becoming cynical or sarcastic
• Losing the sense of humor
• Becoming rude and abusive
• Crave substances that the person thinks will relax them, such as alcohol, tobacco, or drugs
• Speaking louder
• Screaming or crying.

Physical symptoms that can occur include:
If not treated, anger problems can lead to further psychological problems such as anxiety and depression.

• Grinding teeth
• Clenching the jaw
• Upset stomach
• Elevated heart rate
• Sweating
• Rapid, shallow breathing
• Hot flashes in the face or neck
• Trembling hands, lips or jaw
• Dizziness
• Tingling at the back of the neck.

If a person can recognize whether they are irritated, angry or furious, they can use anger management techniques to control the situation.

Additional Anger Resources:

If anger has caused a person to become violent or someone you know is in physical danger, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

Evolution of Self: What Your Anger May Be Hiding. An article from Psychology Today written by a psychologist

Taking Charge of Anger: website explaining anger to children.

Post last audited 7/2019

Mental Illness Resources

by Band Back Together | Jul 2, 2018