While we here at Band Back Together work tirelessly to collect hotline numbers, it’s not always possible for us to vet each number. If a hotline number is no longer functional or is in bad taste, please send an email to becky@bandbacktogether.com with the phone number so we can remove it.
A safe space to talk about abortion experiences by offering a talkline providing unbiased support and encouragement of self-care for people who have had an abortion.
ARC offers non-directive information and support to parents before, during and after antenatal screening; when they are told their baby has an anomaly; when they are making difficult decisions about continuing with or ending a pregnancy, and when they are coping with complex and painful issues after making a decision, including bereavement.
Call our national helpline and speak to a member of our trained team. Our helpline is open Monday to Friday, 10.00am-5.30pm.
Call 0845 077 2290 or 0207 713 7486 from a mobile.
To speak to an information support specialist, please contact us at 1.800.394.3366 between 9:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. (ET)
For questions regarding our services, website, or website content, contact info@childwelfare.gov
Use Live Chat(opens in new window), an instant messaging service, to contact an information support specialist between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. (ET). We recommend turning off your pop-up blocker to maximize this service.
NCADD focuses on increasing public awareness and understanding of the diseases of alcohol and drug dependence through education, prevention, information and referral, intervention, treatment services, advocacy, and recovery support services.
Confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
NCADD focuses on increasing public awareness and understanding of the diseases of alcohol and drug dependence through education, prevention, information and referral, intervention, treatment services, advocacy, and recovery support services.
Confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Offers confidential support and information to people living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, caregivers, families, and the public.
We are available around the clock, 365 days a year at 800.272.3900 (TTY: 866.403.3073).
Click the “Live Chat” green button on this page to connect with a member of our Helpline staff. Live chat is typically available from 7a.m.-7p.m. (CST) Monday through Friday.
Online.Use this form to let us know how we can help you. We will respond to you within 24 hours.
Offers information on diagnosis, treatment, patient care, caregiver needs, long-term care, and research and clinical trials related to Alzheimer’s disease.
An independent, national 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to helping federally and commercially insured people living with life-threatening, chronic and rare diseases with the out-of-pocket costs for their prescribed medications.
Is a non-profit organization that funds research into cures for Alzheimer’s disease, macular degeneration and glaucoma, and provides the public with information about risk factors, preventative lifestyles, available treatments and coping strategies.
Hotline: 1 (800) 799 – 7233 Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline) is available for anyone experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information, or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship.
The IRS Employee Plans maintains the Abusive Transaction Hotline that people can use to share information (anonymously, if preferred) about abusive tax shelters and emerging issues that may be abusive in retirement plans.
An independent, national 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to helping federally and commercially insured people living with life-threatening, chronic and rare diseases with the out-of-pocket costs for their prescribed medications.
We lead the fight for the arthritis community through life-changing information and resources, access to optimal care, advancements in science and community connections.
The Arthritis National Research Foundation provides arthritis research grants to scientists at major universities and research institutes across America.
Contact the Arthritis National Research Foundation office through this form or by dialing (800) 588-2873 or (562) 437-6808
National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases Information Clearinghouse
The mission of the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases is to support research into the causes, treatment, and prevention of arthritis and musculoskeletal and skin diseases; the training of basic and clinical scientists to carry out this research; and the dissemination of information on research progress in these diseases.
HelpLine is a FREE call-back or email service available to all Canadians. Whether you have asthma and other respiratory allergies or are a caregiver, our team of expert CREs can support you.Asthma Canada
The American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association is dedicated to the eradication of autoimmune diseases and the alleviation of suffering and the socioeconomic impact of autoimmunity through fostering and facilitating collaboration in the areas of education, public awareness, research, and patient services in an effective, ethical and efficient manner.
NORD works with pharmaceutical companies to ensure that vital medications are available to those in need. They currently offer a program to assist with premiums and co-pays for PNH patients.
Patients can contact NORD’s Patient Services Representatives at 1-800-999-6673
Si deseas hablar con alguien en espanol por favor llame al (844) 259-7178 para asistencia.
An independent, national 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to helping federally and commercially insured people living with life-threatening, chronic and rare diseases with the out-of-pocket costs for their prescribed medications.
The Child Death Helpline is a helpline for anyone affected by the death of a child of any age, from pre-birth to adult, under any circumstances, however recently or long ago.
Email: contact@childdeathhelpline.org
Freephone: 0800 282 986
Additional Freephone number for ALL mobiles: 0808 800 6019
Can guide you through the grieving process and empower you to help other families facing the same tragedy.
For Immediate Grief Support, Call 1-800-221-7437.
Counselors are available 24/7
Guiding Light – Stillbirth – Red Nose Grief and Grieving – Australia
Welcome to Red Nose Grief and Loss (formerly SIDS and Kids). With over 40 years’ experience supporting grieving individuals and families, we understand the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or young child is one of the most difficult experiences any person will face
Saying Goodbye provides comprehensive information, advice, support and much more to anyone who has suffered the loss of a baby, at any stage of pregnancy, at birth or in infancy, whether the loss be recent or historic.
Specializes in providing beautiful small baby caskets and burial products for families suffering the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or preemie death.
Comfort Zone Camp is a nonprofit 501(c)3 bereavement organization that transforms the lives of children who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, or primary caregiver.
Our programs are free of charge and include confidence building activities and age-based support groups that break the emotional isolation grief often bring
SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death of a Child)
The Lullaby Trust (formerly FSID the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death) (UK)
Lullaby funds research, supports bereaved families and promotes safe baby care advice, including helpline for bereaved parents and their families, friends, neighbours and anyone else who has experienced the sudden death of a baby.
1st Breath works with parents who are experiencing the stillbirth of their baby from the time they learn the baby has died throughout their grief journey
One very important resource is having support and guidance as you prepare for your baby’s birth. Contact Loss Doulas International to make birth planning and companioning available to families in need when their child is to be born still, miscarried, or has a condition that is incompatible with life and likely will not live long after birth.
Sands provide support for bereaved parents and their families when their baby dies, before, during or soon after birth as well as information and support for healthcare professionals.
International Society for the Study and Prevention of Perinatal and Infant Death
The International Society for the Study and Prevention of Perinatal and Infant Death (ISPID) is a not-for-profit organization that is leading the world in discovering evidence-based preventive measures for stillbirth and sudden infant death.
ISPID also works to promote improved quality, standardization of care for bereaved parents, and networking families, professionals, and scientists through resource sharing
Guiding Light – Stillbirth – Red Nose Grief and Grieving – Australia
Welcome to Red Nose Grief and Loss (formerly SIDS and Kids). With over 40 years’ experience supporting grieving individuals and families, we understand the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or young child is one of the most difficult experiences any person will face
The Ectopic Pregnancy Foundation has been established with the aim of improving the care of women with a diagnosis, or possible diagnosis, of ectopic pregnancy. We hope to reduce the morbidity and maternal mortality caused by this common condition.
ARC offers non-directive information and support to parents before, during and after antenatal screening; when they are told their baby has an anomaly; when they are making difficult decisions about continuing with or ending a pregnancy, and when they are coping with complex and painful issues after making a decision, including bereavement.
Call our national helpline and speak to a member of our trained team. Our helpline is open Monday to Friday, 10.00am-5.30pm.
Call 0845 077 2290 or 0207 713 7486 from a mobile.
Miscarriage Hotlines:
This UK-based hotline provides information and support for people affected by miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy.
They also provide a helpline: 01924 200 799.
The helpline is available Monday through Friday 9AM to 4PM UK Time (5 hours ahead of EST).
SUDC Program Hotline for helping navigate the autopsy and scene investigation: 1-800-620-SUDC.
helps to cover the myriad costs associated with transplants, such as donor searches, compatibility testing, bone marrow harvesting, medications, home and child care services, medical equipment, transportation, cord blood banking, housing, and other expenses
Open Homes Medical Stays – a partnership with Airbnb’s Open Homes Medical Stays program provides free temporary accommodations to patients diagnosed with any form of cancer or undergoing a hematopoietic stem cell transplant, as well as housing for their caregivers, family members, and donors.
Scholarship Grants offers survivors support towards an academic future so their hopes and dreams remain intact. Scholarship Grants supports students of all ages as they pursue their educational goals.
Helping clients and families how to bring together a network of relatives, friends, and neighbors in fundraising efforts to help cover the costs of uncovered medical expenses
Case Management Professional case managers at PAF work with the mission to identify and reduce the challenges that individuals like yourself are having when seeking care for their disease.
Co-Pay Relief Program patient assistance is purely donor-funded and money is dispersed to qualified patients while funds are available for each of the Diseases identified.
Largest of several US federal programs that provide assistance to people with disabilities.
(800) 772-1213
CancerCare
CancerCare® Co-Payment Assistance Foundation (CCAF) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping patients afford their co-payments for chemotherapy and targeted treatment drugs.
Good Days is a non-profit advocacy organization that provides resources for life-saving and life-extending treatments to people in need of access to care.
The HealthWell Foundation provides financial assistance to eligible individuals to cover coinsurance, copayments, health care premiums and deductibles for certain medications and therapies. They have a pediatric assistance fund regardless of disease.
The Julia’s Wings Foundation (JWF) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization with the mission of providing assistance to families of children with the life threatening hematological diseases; aplastic anemia, MDS and PNH.
NORD works with pharmaceutical companies to ensure that vital medications are available to those in need. They currently offer a program to assist with premiums and co-pays for PNH patients.
Patients can contact NORD’s Patient Services Representatives at 1-800-999-6673
Si deseas hablar con alguien en espanol por favor llame al (844) 259-7178 para asistencia.
An independent, national 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to helping federally and commercially insured people living with life-threatening, chronic and rare diseases with the out-of-pocket costs for their prescribed medications.
Dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the U.S. and Canada, the hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who—through interpreters—provide assistance in over 170 languages. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are confidential.
Hotline: 1 (800) 422 – 4453
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and text.
A program of Boystown USA and is available to children, parents, and families who are struggling with self-harm, mental health disorders, and abuse.
Hotline: 1 (800) 448 – 3000
Text: Text VOICE to 20121 (hours vary)
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone, email, text, and online chat.
The Childhelp National Child Abuse HotlineChildren In Immediate Risk or Danger 1-800-THE-LOSTChild Abuse National Hotline: 1-800-252-2873 (1-800-25ABUSE)
Parenting Support: 1-800-CHILDREN
First Steps (East Valley Child Crisis Center) for child abuse prevention: 1-480-969-2308.
Helpline for Children – Toll-Free in BC (no area code needed) 310.1234
Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-342-3720
Family Violence Prevention Fund: 1-415-252-8900
Day Care Complaint Line: 1-800-732-5207
CyberTipline for reporting the exploitation of children: 1-800-843-5678
Friends of Battered Women and Their Children: 1-800-603-HELP
Kid Help – Children and adolescents in crisis: 1-800-543-7283
Children of Alcoholics:
National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)Al-Anon/Alateen Hotline: 1-800-344-2666
Suicide & Depression Hotline – Covenant House 800-999-9999
Disaster Distress:
SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline (USA) is a national hotline dedicated to providing immediate crisis counseling for people who are experiencing emotional distress related to any natural or human-caused disaster.
Open 24/7, 365-day-a–year
Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746
Provides counseling in 100 other languages via 3rd-party interpretation services
Disabilities Hotlines:
The Americans With Disabilities Act Information and Assistance Hotline: 1-800-514-0301
TTY: 1-800-514-0383
International: 1-202-541-0301
Domestic Or Intimate Partner Violence Abuse Hotlines:
Hotline: 1 (800) 799 – 7233 Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline) is available for anyone experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information, or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship.
If you have questions, are aware of suspicious activities, or believe you have experienced commodity futures trading, commodity options trading or foreign currency trading (forex) fraud, please let the CFTC know immediately.
IRS Employee Plans maintains the Abusive Transaction Hotline that people can use to share information (anonymously, if preferred) about abusive tax shelters and emerging issues that may be abusive in retirement plans.
The LGBT National Help Center serves gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning people by providing free and confidential peer support and local resources.
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
We are a group of volunteers with comprehensive sex education providing accurate, non-judgmental, confidential information about sexuality, gender, and relationships.
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
Good Days is a non-profit advocacy organization that provides resources for life-saving and life-extending treatments to people in need of access to care.
An independent, national 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to helping federally and commercially insured people living with life-threatening, chronic and rare diseases with the out-of-pocket costs for their prescribed medications.
GMHC AIDS Hotline: 1-800-AIDS-NYC (1-800-243-7692) TTY: 1-212-645-7470
General AIDS hotline for those worried that they may be infected, or people trying to access New York City AIDS resource: 1-212-807-6655
CDC Business and Labor Resource Service (HIV at Work): 1-877-242-9760 TTY: 1-800-243-7012
HIV Health InfoLine (by Project Inform) 1-888-HIV-INFO (1-888-448-4636)
Non-judgmental volunteer operators listen to callers, share their own stories and provide calm, clear and encouraging information about HIV disease and its care.
National Association of People With AIDS Hotline: 1-240-247-0880
To find HIV Testing Centers 1-800 CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636).
Women Alive: 1-800-554-4876 International: 1-323-965-1564
A national hotline staffed by HIV-positive women. Geared for HIV-positive women who would like peer support or treatment information. Spanish speaking operators are available.
An independent, national 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to helping federally and commercially insured people living with life-threatening, chronic and rare diseases with the out-of-pocket costs for their prescribed medications.
A national anti-trafficking hotline serving victims and survivors of human trafficking and the anti-trafficking community in the United States. The toll-free hotline is available to answer calls from anywhere in the country, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every day of the year in more than 200 languages.
Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Text: 233733
Kids Hotlines:
Phone Friend: 1-602-253-9099. Phone line for school-age home alone children.
Good Days is a non-profit advocacy organization that provides resources for life-saving and life-extending treatments to people in need of access to care.
Provides emotional support, technical advice, and information to current victims of online abuse. It has served over 5,000 victims of nonconsensual pornography (NCP), recorded sexual assault (RSA) and sextortion.
Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD): 1-800-223-6233.
Disabled Parents: 1-623-872-3822
Covenant House Crisis Line for youth, teen and families: 1-800-999-9999
Pediatric Health Hotlines:
HealthWell Foundation
The HealthWell Foundation provides financial assistance to eligible individuals to cover coinsurance, copayments, health care premiums and deductibles for certain medications and therapies. They have a pediatric assistance fund regardless of disease.
The Julia’s Wings Foundation (JWF) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization with the mission of providing assistance to families of children with the life threatening hematological diseases; aplastic anemia, MDS, and PNH.
Call: (860) 355-3653
Email info@juliaswings.org
Pet Loss Hotlines:
US Pet Loss Hotlines:C.A.R.E. Pet Loss Helpline – (877) 394-CARE (2273)
Thursday’s Child’s National Youth Advocacy Hotline at 1-800-USA KIDS
National Hotline for Missing and Exploited Children: 1-800-843-5678
National Runaway Switchboard: 1-800-621-4000
Child Find of America Hotline: 1-800-I-AM-LOST (1-800-426.5678)
CONFIDENTIAL Runaway Hotline: 1-800-231-6946
Parent Abduction Hotline: 1-800-292-9688
Self-Injury Hotlines:
National Self-Injury Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Service Animal Hotlines:
Access to public places with a service dog and other rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA): Department of Justice at (800) 514-0301; TTY (800) 514-0383;
Housing with a Service Animal: Department of Housing and Urban Development at (202) 708-1112; TTY (202) 708-1455;
Traveling with a Service Animal: Department of Transportation at (202) 366-4000
Bringing your Service Animal to Work: Job Accommodation Network, a free service of the Office of Disability Employment Policy of the Department of Labor, at (800) 526-7234
We are a group of volunteers with comprehensive sex education providing accurate, non-judgmental, confidential information about sexuality, gender, and relationships.
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
We are a group of volunteers with comprehensive sex education providing accurate, non-judgmental, confidential information about sexuality, gender, and relationships.
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat.
Lifeline Chat is a service of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, connecting individuals with counselors for emotional support and other services via web chat
Chat is available 24/7 across the U.S.
National Adolescent Suicide Hotline: 1-800-621-4000Boys Town Suicide and Crisis Line: 1-800-448-3000 or 1-800-448-1833 (TDD)
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Youth Talkline provides telephone, online private one-to-one chat and email peer-support, as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States.
For teens and young adults up to age 25
1-800-246-7743
Hotline hours are Monday thru Friday from 1pm to 9pm, pacific time
Peovides telephone peer-support, as well as factual information and local resources for our senior community. No matter where they live, LGBT seniors have a place to call when they need peer-support, information and local resources.
1-888-234-7243
Hotline hours are Monday thru Friday from 1pm to 9pm, pacific time
Saturday from 9am to 2pm, pacific time
Children’s National Medical Center Gender and Sexuality Advocacy and Education: (202) 884-2504
Abuse is defined as any sexual, emotional, physical, economic or psychological actions, or threats of actions that influence a victim, including behaviors that terrify, frighten, manipulate, terrorize, hurt, humiliate, blame, or cause physical injury. It is still abuse even if it only happens once. Domestic abuse is a pattern of behavior in any marriage or intimate partnership used to gain or maintain power, domination, and control over the other partner. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any age, race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, marital status. It can happen to couples who are dating, living together, or married. Domestic violence affects all education levels and socioeconomic backgrounds.
There are no “better” or “worse” stories of domestic violence or abuse, If it has happened to you, you have been abused. Many people associate domestic abuse with domestic violence as it is the most recognizable form of abuse, however emotional, financial, verbal, social, or neglect are also types of incredibly damaging behaviors. While domestic violence is often blamed, by the abuser, on losing control of their emotions, as a direct result of the victim’s actions, or outside forces, this is false: abuse is always a deliberate choice made by the abuser to control, silence, guilt, shame, intimidate, scare, humiliate, to hurt their victim.
It’s important to note that domestic violence and abuse do not discriminate: abuse occurs in hetero, homo, and other sexual relationships. The bottom line remains: abuse is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a woman, a man, a teenager, or an older adult. Every partner in the relationship should feel respected, safe, and valued. Unfortunately, domestic abuse often escalates from threats and other types of verbal abuse and leads to violence. While physical injury may be the most feared type of domestic abuse, the physiological and emotional consequences of exposure to domestic abuse are very serious. They can cause victim’s self-esteem and self-worth erode, them feel helpless and alone, and isolate them from their support system.
While it is often less-reported, men can also become domestic violence victims. It’s been estimated that one in every three domestic violence victims are indeed, male. Regardless of your gender, no one deserves to be abused by someone they love.
Why Does An Abuser Abuse?
It’s easy to dismiss episodes of domestic abuse as a “temporary loss of control” or as a “bad temper,” however you must remember that domestic abuse and violence are a deliberate choice by the abuser to control their victim. The domestic abuser engages in abusive behavior in order to gain control over their victim, which is done through a number of methods, including:
Humiliation: is done by an abuser to make their victim feel badly – or defective – about themselves by name-calling, shaming, public insults and many other abuses all designed to make their victim feel powerless. If the victim’s self-esteem is eroded and they begin to feel worthless, they will begin to obey their abuser.
Isolation: As a means to increase the victim’s dependence on their abuser, a domestic abuser will try to cut you off from the rest of the world. This may include prevention of the victim from seeing their families, prevent the victim to go to school or work, and prevent the victim from the outside world. Isolated domestic abuse victims must ask specifically to do anything, see anyone, or go anywhere.
Dominance: Abusive individuals need to feel that they control the relationship. In order to achieve that, the abuser will make executive decisions for the victim, their family and expect their partner to do exactly as they say and obey the abuser at all costs. Sometimes abusers treat their victims like a servant, child, or even as their possession.
Denial and Blame may be the hardest for abuse victims to distinguish as abuse. Abusers are incredibly good at making excuses for things that simply aren’t excusable. Domestic abusers may blame their behavior on a bad day or upon something the victim (or victims) did to deserve their abusers wrath. An abusive partner often will deny or minimize that the abuse happened and shift the responsibility for their abuse onto the victims.
Threatening: in order to prevent their victims from leaving their abuser or frighten them to drop any domestic violence charges, the abuser may turn to threats, including killing the victim, the victims children, pets, or other family members. Abusers may even threaten suicide, report their victim to child services, or file false police reports against their victim.
Intimidation is a means by which an abuser uses intimidation tactics to scare their victim into submission. Intimidation may include threatening looks, breaking possessions, smashing things, threatening gestures, destroying property, putting weapons on display, or hurting children or pets. The message from the abuse is clear: if the victim doesn’t obey, their will be violent consequences.
Can The Abuser Control Their Abuse?
Many people believe that abuse occurs simply because the abuser “can’t control it.” This could not be further from the truth; here’s why:
An abuser picks and chooses those they abuse and don’t assault, threaten, or hurt every single person who gives them grief in their lives. Generally, abusers abuse their closest family members as their victim
Violent abusers are able to control their temper and land any abuse in places where others cannot see them; the torso, upper legs, and other areas generally covered by clothing
As an abuser chooses when and/or where they will abuse their victim(s) meaning that they can coordinate their behavior and assault their victim(s) when they are alone so that no one else is able to see the abuse. Often, in public, abusers are perfectly behaved to their victim(s)
Abusers are not out of control; they can stop the abuse when it benefits them.
Types of Domestic Abuse:
Physical Domestic Abuse: physical abuse is the use of force in a manner that injures or endangers the victim as a means to exert control of the victim. Physical abuse may involve kicking, slapping, punching, or choking or some combination of physical tactics, all aimed at control and power. It can be hard to draw the line at what physical domestic abuse is. It is still domestic abuse even if:
The episodes may seem minor when they’re compared to other people’s stories, things you’ve seen on TV, or heard other people discuss. There is no better or worse circumstance form of domestic physical abuse: all incidents can severely injure the victim.
If you stop engaging and behave passively during a bout of physical abuse by giving up your right to express your feelings or self, to give up your rights as a person, make decisions, and stop whatever behavior is upsetting your partner, you are not assaulted.
The episodes of abuse have only occurred a couple times in the relationship. If your loved one has hurt you physically once or twice, studies say that it’s very likely they will continue to do abuse their partner physically.
Emotional /Psychological/ Verbal Domestic Abuse may not leave physical scars on its victims, which can make domestic abuse victims that they are not, in fact, being abused. However, it has become evident that even if your abuse is emotional/verbal abuse, it is just as damaging to your self-esteem, self-worth, and feelings of independence. Emotional domestic abuse is often hard to identity for the victim, as it often occurs slowly and steadily, increasing in voracity as the years progress. Emotional abuse can include verbal abuse, isolation, controlling behavior, shaming, blaming, and name-calling on the part of the abuser.
Sometimes, abusers who use emotional/psychological to threaten their victims by threatening actual physical violence, in order to get their partners to do as their abuser pleases
The scars of emotional abuse are incredibly real and they run very deep within their victims. Many victims assume that if they’re not being beaten, it’s not abuse, however, emotional abuse can leave scars that run deeper than those from physical abuse.
Emotional abuse does include verbal abuse: yelling, blaming, shaming, isolation, name-calling, intimidation, and controlling behaviors on the part of the abuse
Sexual Domestic Abuse is a form of physical abuse in which a victim is forced to participate in unwanted sexual activity, involving the genitals, anus, and/or mouth. The old way of thinking was that partners could ALWAYS demand sexual intimacy from their partners, however it is important to note that intimate partners do not have to right to force non-consensual sex upon their partner. Sexual abuse is an act of violence and aggression, not an act of love or passion.
Economic Domestic Abuse: Many abusers are hyper-controlling when it comes to finances and they often use money and finances as a means of control their victim. Examples of economic domestic abuse include:
Insisting their partner account for every penny spent
Setting an allowance for their partner
Withholding money from their partner
Insisting their partner open credit cards and run up the bills
Insisting their partner commit fraud
Prevention of the victim from gainful employment or sabotaging the victim’s job, preventing them from “moving up in the company”
Withholding basic necessities
Cycle of Violence in Domestic Abuse:
Generally, there is a cycle of violence and abuse in domestically abusive relationship and it tends to follow this order:
Abuse: The abuser lashes out in a power play designed to show the victim who is in control in their relationship. Afterward, the abuser feels:
Guilt: The abuser feels guilt, not for what he’s done, but over the idea that they may get caught by authorities, friends of family. After that, the abuser begins to make:
Excuses: The abuser fully rationalizes what they have done to the victim, and may rationalize their behavior by making up excuses “I just had such a bad day, I’m sorry” or victim-blaming, “Look what you made me do.” Abusers will say and do anything to avoid taking responsibility for the abuse. This leads to:
“Normal” Behavior: In this part of the cycle, the abuser attempts to regain control of their victim in order to keep the victim from leaving their abuser. Sometimes, the abuser turns on the charm, loads his victim up with expensive gifts, and makes the victim feel loved and cherished. Or, the abuser may behave aif nothing has happened. No matter the form, this “Normal” behavior is an attempt of the abuser to make their victim feel as though the abuser has truly changed. They have not changed, as the next in this cycle of violence is:
Fantasy and Planning: In this cycle, the abuser begins to have fantasies about his next violent abuse of the victim; how to punish the victim, and how to make the victim(s) pay. This begins the next cycle of domestic abuse:
The Set-Up occurs when the abuser has decided to “set the victim up” for the next cycle of abuse. The abuser puts his diabolical plan in motion in order to abuse, then justify WHY the abuser opted for violence. Then, we return to #1 in the domestic violence cycle.
Am I Being Abused?
Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out what’s normal in a relationship, especially if it’s a relationship you’ve been in for a long time. But some may start to wonder, am I being abused? If you answer “yes” to any of the following (even if it is just one), you may be a victim of domestic abuse. Does your partner:
Embarrass you or put you down?
Behave in a way that scares you?
Take your money or refuse to give you money when you ask?
Make all of the decisions for you?
Tell you you’re a crappy parent and threaten to take away your kids?
Prevent you from going to work or school?
Act like hurting you is no big deal?
Stop you from seeing you friends or family?
Intimidate you with guns or knives?
Shove you, hit you or slap you around?
Threaten suicide in order to keep you around?Threaten to kill you or someone you love?
Use your pets and/or children to control, punish, manipulate or exact revenge on you?
If you answered yes to any of these, you may be in an abusive relationship.
Recognizing abuse for what it is is the first step to getting help.
For support, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY: 1-800-787-3224.
Potential Warning Signs of Domestic Violence:
It’s very hard to spot all the red flags of domestic abuse, but here are some common concerns:
The victim may:
Talk about their partner’s temper or possessiveness
Check-in excessively with their partner when alone
Spend excessive worn and concern with pleasing their partner
Do everything their partner says to do
Receive frequent harassing phone calls from partner
Possible signs of domestic abuse:
Seem scared or anxious to please their partner
Be overly agreeable to everything their partner says and does
Check in often with their partner to report on their activities
Frequently receive harassing phone calls from their partner
Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy or possessiveness
Possible signs of financial abuse:
Have limited access to money or credit cards
Have their spending tightly monitored
Worry excessively how their partner will respond to what are typically considered simple, everyday purchases
Possible signs of physical abuse:
Frequently miss work, school and social obligations without notice or explanation
Make seemingly odd clothing choices in an effort to conceal bruises or scars, for example: wearing long sleeves or turtlenecks in the summer and sunglasses indoors
Possible signs of isolation:
Have low self-esteem, even if they were once very confident
Show significant changes in personality, such as an extroverted person becoming withdrawn
Show signs of depression, anxiety or being suicidal
If you see any signs of domestic violence in a friend, loved one, co-worker, take them aside and talk to them about domestic violence.
If You Suspect Someone Is Being Abused:
If you suspect someone is being abused and you’re hesitating, please, open your mouth and ask. The victim may not want to talk about it and may tell you that you’re wrong, and maybe you are wrong, but sometimes, expressing concern may save a life. How do you talk to someone you suspect is being abused? Simple:
“I’ve noticed, this, this, and this (your reasons for suspecting domestic violence) and I’m concerned about you. Can I help?”
Maybe they won’t want to talk to you then, but knowing someone cares about them, sometimes that’s a port in a storm.
If you ask, be ready to support the person in a positive way.’
Talk to this person privately
Let go of all your preconceived notions of domestic violence and people who are abused.
Remember, as frustrating as it is, there is no quick fix solution to domestic abuse.
To empower this person, learn a little about domestic violence. Find out the services in your area that may be available.
When you are listening, remember:
Support and respect this person and the decisions he or she makes. Even if you do not agree with them.
Believe this person and tell them so.
Validate his or her feelings. “Your feelings are very normal.”
Do not judge this person when responding to what he or she says.
Offer specific forms of help. “I can help you find a counselor” versus, “Let me know what you need.”
Point out ways that he or she has been strong and courageous.
Tell the victim that the abuse is not her fault and avoid bashing the abuser.
Call 911 for all emergencies
How Do I Prepare For Leaving My Abuser?
Unique challenges:
Help If You’re Not a Citizen:
According to the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), immigrant women who are experiencing domestic violence — and are married to abusers who are US Citizens or Legal Permanent Residents — may qualify to self-petition for legal status under VAWA. Get more information here. Domestic violence is against the law regardless of your immigration status. Learn more at Casa De Esperanza about your rights as an immigrant. Call the hotline for resources in your area that can help: En Español: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
If you’re an immigrant, you may be hesitant to seek help out of fear that you will be deported. Language barriers, lack of economic dependence and limited social support can increase your isolation and your ability to access resources.Laws in the United States guarantee protection from domestic abuse, regardless of your immigrant status. Free or low-cost resources are available, including lawyers, shelter and medical care for you and your children. You may also be eligible for legal protections that allow immigrants who experience domestic violence to stay in the United States.
Call a national domestic violence hotline for guidance. These services are free and protect your privacy.
If you’re an older woman, you may face challenges related to your age and the length of your relationship. You may have grown up in a time when domestic violence was simply not discussed. You or your partner may have health problems that increase your dependency or sense of responsibility.
If you’re in a same-sex relationship, you might be less likely to seek help after an assault if you don’t want to disclose your sexual orientation. If you’ve been sexually assaulted by another woman, you might also fear that you won’t be believed.
Prepare for Emergencies:
Be on the lookout for the red-flags that abuser is getting upset and may be ready to strike out in anger and try to come up with a couple reasons to get out of the house if you feel in imminent danger.
Establish a code word, phrase or symbol for “call the police.” Teach it to everyone you are in contact with.
Plan and identify a safe place your children can go to be safe, a locked room, a neighbor’s house. Be sure to remind them that it is not their job
Establish the safe areas of the house that you can retreat to if the abuser attacks. Avoid enclosed spaces with no exits. If you can, get to a room with a phone or a window.
Keep evidence of physical abuse (pictures), a diary of the abuse, and any medical documentation of the abuse
Please call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for local resources for domestic violence victims with resources for legal help.
Find out about local resources in your area: Women’sLaw.Org also provides state-by-state legal information
Try to gain employable skills /take community college courses so that you are able to support yourself when you are free
Squirrel some money away as you can and keep it in a safe place
Have an Escape Plan:
Be ready to go at any time. Have the car gassed up, driver’s door unlocked, keys handy. Have emergency cash, documents, and clothing stashed somewhere safe.
Have a packed bag ready and keep it in a secret place that is easy to reach. Leave money, an extra set of keys, extra clothes and, if you can, copies of important documents with someone you trust.
Practice your escape – especially with children
If your abuser will likely become violent to whomever you stay with, you are better off in a domestic violence shelter
Memorize a list of emergency contacts including local shelters, police, and domestic violence hotlines.
Find domestic violence shelters in your area and see which will accept your family.
Decide and plan where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you do not think you will need to). This should be a safe place from which you can call for further assistance.
Figure out who’d let you stay with them and/or or lend you some money.
Have a packed bag ready and keep it in a secret – yet easy to reach – place.
Leave money, an extra set of keys, extra clothes and, if you can, and copies of important documents with someone you trust.
Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence.
Keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
Be mindful that a GPS locator can be easily hidden in a very small item, so be wary of any new “gifts” from your abuser
Take the car to a trusted mechanic to locate the GPS and you can opt to remove it. Keep in mind, your abuser may track you to the repair shop and discover your escape plan. You can also buy counter-surveillance equipment to jam the GPS, but it may also jam the frequency of your cellphone.
Important Documents to Gather Prior to Leaving Your Abuser:
All bank account numbers, credit cards, credit union, and 401(k) information
Copies of outstanding loans, amount of monthly payments, current budget
Joint and individual credit cards with balances. Get your name removed from joint cards if possible
Pay stubs for at least 2 months
Extra key for the safe deposit box
Copies of your car title(s)
The past 3 years’ worth of income tax returns
Deeds to joint or individual property
Copies of your and the abuser’s signature cards at the bank, CDs, and bonds
Copy of any Personal Protection Order (PPO) – if one is in place
Copies of all insurance policies, wills, trust funds, or pension fund information
Abuser’s Social Security number, driver’s license number, work address and number
Addresses and phone numbers of friends; criminal history; license plate number, and recent pictures
Unless an attorney advises you not to, if you leave, take all personal assets and half of all joint assets (for example, bonds, saving accounts, checking account, credit card)
Protect Your Privacy:
Computer Safety:
Most computer browsers (Google, Firefox, Safari, AOL, Microsoft Edge) track the pages that you visit when you are online, so you should clear your “cashe” after every time you use it. Learn more about erasing your browsing history.
You are safest on a computer outside your home. Try your local library or college for access to free computers
Be cautious with what you say in emails, texts, and messages. Your abuser may be able to access your account.
Expect that everyone – even your abuser – will find out about your social media accounts. Close your social media accounts.
Remove all information about yourself from online, including old blogs, old social media accounts, and email accounts.
If you can’t delete certain pages of personal information, contact the “webmaster” or “host” of the site and explain why you need your information taken down
Delete the Facebook App off your mobile device, tablet, and computer – this site frequently “follows you” around and you ex may be able to track you through it. Here’s how to remove your Facebook page.
Change usernames and passwords for all accounts frequently and do not write them down. Change them into nonsensical series of numbers, symbols, and letters. Even if you believe that your abuser doesn’t have access to them, there are keylogging programs that can easily determine that information.
If you use a computer-based email program like Outlook, Outlook Express, Eudora or Apple Mail, anybody who has access to your computer can read your email.
Make certain that your computer does not “save” your email address and/or password and make certain to log out of your email each and every time you are finished using it.
Be mindful of what you buy and where you buy it from – you don’t want to be tracked.
Phone Safety:
Use landlines rather than cordless telephones, if you are able to find one as corded phones are harder to tap.
Use a prepaid phone card or call collect so that the charges don’t appear on your phone bill.
Obtain a new cellphone before you leave if possible – you want to make sure your phone is in no way connected to your partner.
Check your cellphone settings – as there are a large number of social media site and other technologies that your abuser can use to listen to your calls or track your location, even if you do not answer the phone.
Get your own cell phone that your abuser doesn’t know about. If you are purchasing a pay-as-you-go plan, pay cash so it cannot be connected to you
Set a lock code onto your phone or use fingerprint sensing technology to ensure that no one can access your phone
Turn off “Locate My Phone” if your phone has this
Turn off the GPS on your phone and leave it on E-911
Log yourself out of any apps you’re not using and consider deleting apps off your phone that show your location (Facebook, for example)
Turn off Bluetooth when you’re not using it
You can get a donated phone through a low-income program such as Safe Link Wireless – it is important to know that Verizon’s Hopeline will no longer be participating in donating phones to victims as of December 2018.
If you had to bring your old phone with you, when you’re not using your cellphone, take out the battery and wrap it in tinfoil, however the minute it powers on, it will signal your location if someone is watching it
If You Have Pets:
Have your pets vaccinated & licensed in your own name in order to establish ownership.
Animals are considered property in all 50 states so be sure to include them in temporary restraining orders.
Prepare the pets for a quick departure. Collect vaccination records, pet license, medical records, & other documents.
Ask for help from animal care & control officers or law enforcement if your pets need to be retrieved from the abuser. Never reclaim animals from your abuser alone.
Safety After You’ve Left:
Get an unlisted phone number
Change locks and phone number and make sure your phone has caller ID and ask for it to be blocked so that when dialing out, your phone number does not appear
Alert your employer and ask if they can have someone screen your calls
Keep printouts of any online harassment, a diary of any stalking behaviors – including time, date, and what the abuser did
If you do have a restraining order, keep a certified copy of it with you at all times, and inform friends, neighbors,and employers that you have a restraining order in effect
Call local law enforcement to enforce the order, see how they can help you keep safe, and give copies of the restraining order to employers, neighbors ,and schools with a picture of the offender.
Be aware that your addresses will be on your restraining order and any police reports, and be extremely careful who you give them to
Tell people who take care of your children, drive them/pick them up from school, and activities. Explain your situation to them and provide them with a copy of the restraining order and a picture of your abuser and have them alert the police if they see anything suspicions
Change your routine – new work hours, new routes, new places to frequent
Change the route to school for your kids – or transfer them to a new school
Make certain all the school staff are aware of this situation
Change the stores you frequent, any appointments you have had on the calendar, and different social places
Ask your neighbors to call the police in the event they see your abuser or feel that you are in danger
If you’re in Ireland, call Women’s Aid at 1800 341 900. This company works to make women, men, and children safe from domestic violence, offer support, provide hope to those affected by abuse and work for justice and social change.
If you’re in Australia, please call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732 – this is a hotline open 24/7/365
The International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies has a global domestic violence network with country and state-specific information. They offer domestic violence hotlines and resources in over 110 different languages and are an invaluable resource for those around the world.
Childhood Trauma ResourcesRead more ...Male Sexual Assault ResourcesRead more ...Child Abuse ResourcesRead more ...Domestic Abuse ResourcesRead more ...Coping With RapeRead more ...Emotional Abuse ResourcesRead more ...Coping With An Abusive RelationshipRead more...
A Resources Abandonment Resources Resources and help for those dealing with abandonment, insecurity and self-doubt – the issues that face those who are abandoned and abandonment. ABO Incompatibility Resources ABO Incompatibility (also known as Hemolytic Disease of the...
Mental Illnesses are prevalent in our world. They greatly affect not only the individual involved, but the people around them. In the month of April, we focus our spotlight on Mental Health, in order to heal together and break down stigmas.
We want your stories. How has your own, or someone else’s mental illness affected your life? How are you rising above stigmas?
Please share your stories with us during the month of April.
As it stands, my story isn’t on this website. That’s because I’m not quite ready to go into it. What is relevant right now is that I’m the newest host in my body’s Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) system. I’ve been here for almost a year.
All I’ve really succeeded in was coming to terms with all of the mental stuff we didn’t want to admit to before. Like DID, Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the fact that the shadow people are actually hallucinations (among with other fun psychosis things). That’s a lot to tackle, and the fact that we’re still here makes me feel proud.
I’m both 21 years old and 11 months old. I was thrown into a breakdown where the former host isolated themselves from all but one of their trusted friends. I’ve gotten into a relationship with said friend, and he is the kindest soul I’ve ever (virtually) met. He supports me and makes me feel like I am not completely drowning.
I’m working on freelancing to save up to go back to school (they flunked out of college and now I’m here, aware of most of my limitations and certain to make sure that we succeed this time).
It’s almost been a year, a year of preparation for our lives. A year of learning about myself and my headmates. It’s been a fucking miserable mess of a year, one with lots of breakdowns, self harm, and suicidal thoughts 24/7. But I think I’m going to make it.
