I met her in the Fall of 1999. I hadn’t set eyes on her until I showed up with my moving van in the Southie alleyway. The house where we would become roommates. A mutual friend put us in touch as I needed a place to stay and she needed a help on the rent.
We didn’t actually live well together. Sure, we were cordial and hung out a bit, but she wasn’t more than a roommate. I’m kind of that way with girls, to be honest. It takes me a long time to let someone “in.”
The next year I got engaged and my then fiance lived just 8 blocks away, so I moved out. This is when she and I became close friends. We exercised together, commuted to work together, met for happy hours, had sleepovers. She worked her way “in” and we’ve never looked back.
She is my son’s Godmother. She is my husband’s confidante in all things, “WTF is up with my wife?” She is my girl. She holds my secrets and my heart.
And she is sick.
Yesterday, my girl found out her biopsy results. She has cancer. The Big C. It’s in her breast and her lymph nodes. This is all she knows. She’s scheduled to see the oncologist tomorrow and on Saturday, Team A will get together with her for her self proclaimed “pity-party.” We’re going to figure out where to go from here.
I’m trying very very hard to not make this about me. But I’m scared. And I’m pissed. I’m fucking irate. I’ve cried a lot of tears and I’m sure more will be shed.
But on Saturday and every day that I’m with her, I will be her strength, no matter what it takes. Hell, if it comes to it, and she’s in throes of chemo and she loses her hair, I’ll shave my head with her. I’m in. I’m so in and will fight with her.
She’s my girl.
And she’s sick.
*********************
originally written on thursday, 9/23.
An update. Initially, A’s MRI and CT scans showed that she had no more cancer. She was due to have her lumpectomy tomorrow, her 37th birthday. Instead, she had another biopsy on Wednesday last week and found out the cancer is spreading. So instead of the lumpectomy, she’s going for the double mastectomy. Losing both ladies. In16 days. And chemo right after. Fucking sucks, to be honest. I’m pissed off all over again. Her one positive note – she said “at least I’ll never again have breast cancer.” How’s that for a positive spin. She’s goddamn amazing.
Hugs to you and your friend! I’m glad she has you to lean on while she’s going through all this. Here’s hoping it all goes well and she’s back to healthy unbelievably fast. :]
I’ll keep her in my thoughts and I hope her recovery goes smoothly.
She is so strong. You keep doing what you are doing, okay? You are just as amazing as she is. Cancer is bullshit.
and so are you for being a kick ass supportive friend. Much love to your girl going on this journey…I fucking hate cancer. And your friend is another reason why!
Thoughts and prayers and many positive thoughts for your girl .. and you.
That is so sweet, and sad, and every emotion all rolled into one.
I would totally shave my head for my bestie too. I wouldnt want her to be bald alon
Sending good wishes and love to you and your bestie! She has cancer and that SUCKS but she also has an awesome friend in you and that ROCKS!
Hugs to both you and you’re friend. You are amazing for being her rock. I will keep you both in my thoughts. And I will hope she has a very speedy recovery!!
Saying a prayer for your friend. I hope she beats that bitch (breast cancer) straight into the ground.
I was 32 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Like your friend, I opted for a double mastectomy. I took a funny, positive approach to my cancer.
1. I’d never have to have another mammogram again.
2. I’d never have to wear another bra in my life.
3. When all my friends had boobs hanging to their waists, mine would still be perky.
4. And when it is time for a facelift, I have a great plastic surgeon on my speed dial.
It’s OK for you to be angry, so is she. Get angry together. And if you both shave your heads, make a party of it!
If she needs other support from young women who have had breast cancer, she can visit the Young Survival Coalition. http://www.youngsurvival.org. They are a great organization
I responded to each of you via e-mail – didn’t realize I could reply here.
Cherish these comments, so much. Thank You.