Life after divorce is never easy. Yes, to you it might turn out as a pleasant change for a while, due to the release you got from all of your pain and misery, but it would be a difficult change for your children to deal with. The protection the children felt from having both parents at home is no longer there.
Once the couple has been separated, the children find themselves clueless and directionless in the whole wide world. The guardian parent has to understand this situation and act accordingly to save the lives of children from getting ruined. If you are a single parent who recently got divorced and is now in between of a parent juggling act, here are 3 tips on how to make the transition a little easier for your children:
1. How to Get Respect from Your Children.
A parent stopping his/her child from doing something and the kid yelling back or screaming isn’t a very rare situation in lives of single parents. If your child has told you several times that he hates you and you are the worst father or mother in the world, trust me, you aren’t the only one experiencing this. Now, most parents lose their mind in such situations and either begin heated arguments or start shouting or hitting the children.
There is absolutely no doubt about the fact that you deserve utmost respect from your children. However, you will have to earn that respect, not by being bossy but by being reasonable, mature and friendly. You must be friendly with your children so that they can open up to you. When a child feels free to be open with a parent, if they want something, they will want to express their reasons why they want it. In turn, you will be able to make a more informed decision. No matter what your answer is, by building up a better relation with the child, you will avoid him/her feeling disrespected or being neglected.
2. Spend Uninterrupted Time with Your Kids
The last thing your kids want is you ignoring them. When a couple separates, the children have to live with either parent. They can never be with both parents at the same time. Depending on the agreement between the parents, children may spend particular times of the year with father or mother but in very rare cases they can be with both the father and mother. Keeping this factor in mind, you have to give your children adequate amount of attention. You should try spending uninterrupted time with the kids so that they don’t feel the fact that either of their parent is missing in their life.
3. Try To Maintain A Mature Relationship With Your Ex
Just because you have separated from your partner doesn’t mean that you cannot see your ex again. Being a parent, it should be your highest priority to do anything and everything to make your children’s lives and future better. You shouldn’t tell your children that their other parent was the one at fault or wasn’t worth being a parent. You should instead let your kids decide what kind of relationship they want to keep with your ex. Your children would most likely resent you for separating them from the father or mother, if you tell them to stay away or be at a distance.
It is important that you maintain a mature relationship with your ex so that you both can meet up occasionally in order to make sure your children’s lives aren’t falling apart. There are occasions when you and your former spouse have to meet up to celebrate the happy moments of your children or to provide support in their sad ones. It is not rare for divorced people to gather up on the birthdays of their children. You should do it too if it helps your children’s healthy growth, physically and mentally.
Handling life and children after divorce is certainly difficult. However, if you follow the above mentioned instructions and take wise decisions throughout the years, you can stop your children from fighting with you day in and day out, and feel incomplete without both the parents.