We all have letters we can’t send for a zillion different reasons. Maybe the person is no longer around, maybe you can’t actually speak your mind to them, maybe you’re just not ready to admit it.
Band Back Together encourages you to share your letters with us. You never do know how soothing someone else’s words can be. Click here to write your own letter.
Dear Littlest Sister,
I wish, for so many reasons, that we were closer. It seems that all your life I’ve watched you hurting, and I’ve never been able to help you. Either it was out of my hands or you wouldn’t let me close enough to be any good.
I know I’m a disappointment to you, and that there are times you wish we didn’t share a name. I’m sorry. As difficult as our relationship has been, I have always been proud to call you my sister.
When you were five and our parents were divorcing, I should have been more sensitive. I should have seen the Little Sister who needed reassurance. Looking back, I don’t know why I minded it when you followed me around – you were so darn cute!
When you were playing softball, I wish I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my teenage-self. I wish I’d praised you for all your hard work, told you how great you were. Had I praised you, would you have felt shadowed by our middle sister’s spotlight? Would you still have given up sports?
Maybe it would have changed your future to hear how proud I was of you.
When you were experiencing your own teen depression, I wish I hadn’t been thousands of miles away. I’d have held you as you cried. Maybe then you wouldn’t have tried to overdose. If I’d been there to listen, would you have started cutting?
When you enlisted in the military, did I tell you how my heart swelled with pride? When you came back from your basic training and tech school, I was, once again, wrapped up in my own stuff. Did I tell you that I loved you? Did I tell you that I missed you each day you were gone?
And now, when you’re hurting – when your life is spinning – the distance between us is more than the five-hour drive. I want to call you and listen to your tears. I want to tell you that broken hearts hurt worse than childbirth, but that you’ll heal and be stronger.
I want to comfort you and give you the compassion and support that I know you won’t get from our mother or our middle sister.
It’s silly, really. We’re so much alike, you’d think we’d be closer. But, as I look back, I can see all the wedges I drove between us.
And so, I’ll write this letter to you, a letter you’ll never see. I’ll keep you in my thoughts as I wait to hear news of you. And I’ll pray that this isn’t the thing that causes you to hurt yourself again.
You are such a beautiful person.
You give so much of yourself to everyone. You, who never wanted children, are my son’s favorite aunt. He glows when he talks of his time with you and he tells anyone who will listen that he wants to join the military, just like his heroes. Do you know you’re one of his heroes?
Do you know you’re one of mine?
I love you to the depths of my soul. And no matter what, you will always be a part of me.
I am so infinitely proud of you.
Your Big Sister
I hope your sister gets the chance to read this.
You could think about sending it to her. It’s lovely to read.
Send her the letter. It might save her life.
I hope she gets to read this too. You both deserve to share this. Such a beautifully written letter! Thank you for sharing it with us. Love, Dawne
You should tell her, hearing these amazing words could help her so much. We are all feeling your pride and love shine through, don’t hide it from her. Sisters are magic.
Speaking as someone with no relationship with my biological family, your thoughts would mean so much to your sister. Please share them with her.
I think you should send this to her.
Please send this letter to your sister. “Better late than never” really applies here. As much as you needed to say this, I bet she needs to read it that much. Don’t expect anything in return. Just give her the opportunity to hear/read these beautiful words from you.
Wow, your sister is so lucky to have someone like you. So lucky.
You should send this. I know if I got a letter like this from my big sister it would mean the world to me.
SEND HER THIS LETTER! I have a horrible relationship with my big sister, and I’m telling you, receiving something like this would be a step in the right direction. Send it, it can only help.
Not to sound like a broken record, but I think she needs to read this. Even if she doesn’t acknowledge it out loud, it will do wonders for her emotions and her soul. Yours too. I know if I got a letter like this from one of my sisters, I would be over the moon. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
A beautiful love letter for your sister. I agree with many others: don’t be afraid to share this with her.
I hope you find the courage to send this to her but I don’t know your situation or why you feel you can’t . It is just so touching and I can’t imagine anyone who is struggling not wanting to know that someone loves and admired them like this. Lighting a candle for you both tonight.
Oh please, share this with her. I wish, with every fiber of my being, that my brother would write me such a love letter. (((hugs)))
Thank you all so much. It’s such a hard decision. There are things in this letter that I know…but we don’t ever speak them aloud, it’s how we were raised. Her temper with me is always just near the surface and I would hate to upset her more in an attempt to make her feel better. I’m so torn.
It never hurts to find out how much you are loved. Even if she protests and initially gets upset, I’d bet that some part of her will treasure this. I hope you manage to overcome your upbringing and send it to her. Tell her you’re there if she wants to talk. Please let her know how much you love her and are proud of her. People don’t say that nearly enough.
I’m sure it must be difficult to figure out if you can share this with her. It’s so easy to put our guards up and say no way in heck! I do agree that the sentiments you share here could go so far at repairing your bond with her. So even if you can’t share these exact words, maybe you can come up with a smaller version? A way to say, I’m so sorry that so much has come between us – can we try to move forward? I’m here. Just enough to bring you closer. This was really beautiful. I hope it helps you heal some.
You are an amazing sister.