The creation of human life is one of the most complex and shockingly beautiful things that our bodies are designed to do. The microanatomy that goes into this task is so astonishingly complicated that it’s a miracle any of us walk around at all.
And yet, most of us do. Most…but not all.
When a baby dies, we are fragmented. Shattered, we must pick up the pieces and put them back together as we pay tribute to our children, our tables forever missing one, our families incomplete, our treasures in heaven, our babies alive only in our hearts. It is through our stories that they live forever. These children were here and they mattered.
They were loved.
They are loved.
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It all started out so happy and joyful, knowing I was pregnant again – my third child. No words could express my joy.
Five months into my pregnancy, I had an abnormal blood test. The doctor immediately sent me to see the gynaecologist. That is when all my happiness turned into a shattered dream.
The gynaecologist advised an amniocentesis. My husband and I agreed to take the test right away, but we had to wait two weeks for the results. It was agony. I couldn’t sleep at night. I don’t think anyone can worry more than a mother waiting to find out about her unborn child’s health condition.
When the test resuts came in, it was positive.
My unborn son had Trisomy 18.
I was devastated. I didn’t know where to turn or what to do. Being religious people, my husband and I decided not to terminate the pregnancy. We knew God knows best, so we left it all in His hands. I continued my pregnancy, worrying and praying the entire time. My gynaecologist didn’t support our decision. She repeatedly told us that babies with Trisomy 18 don’t survive. Thankfully, I had a very surportive husband and an understanding family.
Day to day, my bond grew stronger with my baby. With every check-up, he grew and continued to gain weight. Through it all, we kept praying. At 35weeks, my baby’s heart stopped beating, and I was taken for an emergency c-section.
When I met my son for the first time, he was so beautiful. It seemed like nothing was wrong with him. Everything looked perfect.
We laid our son to rest on the 11th of September, 2015.
I’m glad I didn’t give up and terminate the pregnancy. He was a total blessing in my life.