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Heartbreak

I am infertile.

We have been trying to have a baby for years to no avail. I will spare you the details, but I was approached by a potential birth mother who is a friend. She is pregnant, doesn’t want the baby, was going to have an abortion and decided she didn’t know if she could go through with it. She asked if we might be interested in private adoption. YES, oh YES, it would be a dream come true.

I did it. I got my hopes up against all logic and warning from everyone.

I got a text today that says she is not going through with the pregnancy. I am so sad right now. I am heartbroken at the needless loss of a life that could be my baby.

Where do I go from here?

I had such a tight lid on this I never let myself feel this hope or dream.

I let the lid off and now I am devastated.