Stuck In A Rut
For the past few weeks, life has gotten the better of me.
Work and home have been hectic, but no more than normal.
Something else is wrong.
I’ve stopped blogging (until now, obviously). Twitter is all but a memory. I have 287 unread posts from some of the most amazing people that I can’t even find the energy to read. I haven’t really spoken to friends. My mum forgets my voice I’m sure, it’s been that long since I’ve called. I don’t read emails. I ignore my husband. I sleep through most weekends and can’t bring myself to leave the house at times.
I feel hurt. I feel empty. I feel like crying but lack the care factor to do so.
I don’t care.
Everyone’s always angry with me. I can’t do anything right.
I’m so sick of feeling useless. Feeling guilty. Feeling angry. Disgusted with myself.
I’ve lost interest.
I’m struggling to find five minutes of peace to myself. It’s just not there. I don’t have any time. This post alone has taken me 4 hours.
I’m over everything. I’ve got nothing left to give.
There’s nothing left within me. No energy. No hope. Sometimes no love.
I don’t need help. I need space.
I don’t know about anything anymore.