During my childhood, our family life revolved around his narcissism. I didn’t realize it then. The realization that he had narcissistic personality disorder gradually became apparent during my adult life.
I first learned about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) in nursing school. The further I matured into adult life, the worse my father’s behavior has gotten. My husband and I had an ugly blowout argument with him on New Years Day in front of our teenage children.
I’ve since decided to separate from him.
Since then, my husband and I have done extensive research into narcissistic personality disorder. I’ve gotten therapy and I do daily journaling. I pray, I soul search, and I know in my heart that this separation has been a good thing for me.
I’ve accepted what is.
I know with narcissists, you either have to separate or clearly establish boundaries. Unfortunately, establishing boundaries failed with my father.
My brother is also separated from my father. We’ve had recent communications with our father via email in which we are blamed for everything while nothing is his fault. With notes I made in journaling and therapy, I was able to formulate a clear and effective response to pinpoint the issues I have with his behavior. Together, we have him up against a wall. His behavior is exposed and he is playing the victim.
Recently, my parents have purchased a new car and are giving my mother’s old car to my teenage son. We are accepting the car because we need it and my mother has a special place in her heart for my son.
I feel strong enough after our six months separation to attempt a relationship with him with clearly defined emotional boundaries. It’s going to be a challenge because he’s already playing the victim.
During my morning writing today, I had the realization that God gives certain challenges to people. Some deal with illness, tragedy, abuse, or poverty, to name a few. For whatever reason, I believe God has given me this challenge. I don’t really like it. It’s not fun to have a father that sucks the life out of you, but I believe this is what God gave me.My father will feed his narcissism with my broken heart.