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5 years ago I finally was able to get myself and my two children out of an emotionally abusive relationship. It wasn’t easy, and definitely took a toll on all of us. However, the kids and I WERE able to move on, and although life isn’t perfect (is it ever?), it’s decidedly BETTER.

Today, I find myself in a non-abusive relationship with a really great man. He takes care of me and my children and is wonderful in so many ways. Yet he can’t seem to understand why I am often sad and moody, sometimes depressed, and why I am constantly asking for him to validate me, our relationship, and his love for me. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed that I can’t even explain to him how I am feeling or why.

Sometimes I cry for no reason, or get overly upset. I find myself not trusting that he REALLY loves me and fearing that he will leave me. He doesn’t understand my behavior, and sometimes, neither do I. It frustrates me because I feel like something is wrong with me. It frustrates him because he doesn’t understand what is making me act this way.

My behavior is ruining the only stable relationship that I’ve had since my divorce. Does emotional abuse really do this? Is this why I can’t figure out how to function normally? I feel so lost. I want to be “normal”. I want to trust that this man will love and care for me. But I CAN’T. I feel like I don’t know how to act, and I’m afraid to do or say the wrong thing. It’s awful feeling this way. I know in my head that this man is great & supportive, but I can’t control the negative thoughts and feelings that I am having.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is there any kind of support group or information for someone who is in a relationship with someone who was previously verbally abused? I want so badly to help him understand me.  And I want to be able to trust someone again.