It was with a loud crash that she hit the floor, her knees gone weak with fear. “Help,” she cried, to no one in particular, a sort of mangled prayer to a god she never once believed in.
“Help me,” she whispered, hoping to see someone there, yet there was nothing but vast darkness, her hands clenched tightly.
There was a hollowness in her soul, an icy chill that ran through her veins when she hit this point. The bottom, again, a place she promised to stay away from, spun so quickly up to greet her. “Help me,” again she whispered, desperate.
The cold steel seemed to awaken in her hand. It was so strong, so faithful, and so delicate. She closed her eyes, tears falling hot and fast, such opposition to the cold running through her heart. One line, then another, cutting across her flesh.
“Help,” she whispered, partially to her ever trusty blade, partially to the blood now trickling down. It was warm like her tears, and safe, a reminder that she was real.
Exhausted, she wept.
This was never how it was supposed to be.
southerngrace says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 4:04 p.m. 20209
Oh how I want to hug you tight until the pain subsides. I have no words of wisdom to take your pain away, but please know that I am here and I am listening. You are not alone.
thepsychobabble says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 4:34 p.m. 20215
Powerfully written. Much love to you.
Mary says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 4:40 p.m. 20217
Sending you big *hugs* xo
Daizzy says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 6:51 p.m. 20222
This goes through straight to the core of what it’s like to be a cutter, and i understand completely. I really hope you find a way to stand again.
chibijeebs says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 7:37 p.m. 20226
Oh, dear heart. Sending much love your way. <3
IndustryZero says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 8:33 p.m. 20230
So much love coming your way.
kmarrs says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 9:12 p.m. 20233
This was powerful. I don’t even know what else to say. So I’m sending you love and hugs, in my silent understanding.
merlinthehappypig says…
Jan. 2, 2012, 9:36 p.m. 20236
So much understanding. So much love. xx
jen says…
Jan. 3, 2012, 1:06 a.m. 20241
i’ve been there. *hugs*