part 2
14
SEP
maybe.
so.
he’s dead.
dead..wtf? my life my future, my love? what the hell just happened?
i sit there, in the ER. all i can think about is my son, at home. not knowing. HE DIDN’T KNOW..his dad is DEAD!!!
friends have started to arrive at the ER, (friends….i got friends)…i don’t know how they knew (susan? yes)…and i have to comfort them, but my son is at home. TAKE ME HOME!!
so, of the friends who have arrived, i take sheri and david. david drives me home, sheri following in my car.
as we drive up..i see the kid in the driveway. HOW???HOW????
i get out of the car, and he starts to scream. i will NEVER forget that howl. later, i will learn that the same howl emanated from me in the ER..i don’t remember it. but the kid’s…i’ll never forget that sound as long as i live. the sound of a heart breaking, both of our hearts, broken.
prior to leaving the ER i had told them i was going to go get my son and could they please clean everything up so i could have him see his dad. they did great…when we got there…well, tom looked as good as a new corpse could. we cried, and held him, and talked to him and cried and cried and cried….
and there were more people there by that time. because, because my husband and i are so lucky to have the friends we do, did. when we were on the way to the hospital, my friend susan, who i called, called her husband, and the word started to spread.
and some came to the hospital, but most people went to another friends house. and when the word came that tom was dead, well…all those gathered headed for my house. and the word kept going out. and by the time my son and i got back home there were 40 people in the house . and an hour later 80. and food, like the loaves and fishes…..
i can’t write anymore tonight.
maybe a little more. this is MY story, our story, but grief.. god, grief is binding. and there is so much neo-natal and child grief on this board that i cannot read it because it KILLS me. but i know it, just differently.and i pray that someone else will come on with a story like mine because i need to be identified with. if you’re reading this and not posting…please do.
PLEASE.
Oh, I honestly don’t know what to say as I have not experienced such loss. But I am profoundly affected by your post…
((hugs))) Michele. I can feel your pain, panic, sadness and grief in your words. Thank you for sharing and I am so glad you have found a safe place here to share your story.
Oh my God. Such pain. I’m reading, and I’m commenting, and I care. I haven’t lost my husband, but I’ve lost both parents. I’ve never had a miscarriage or lost a child, but death is death. Death is when someone you love (be it husband, parent, child, WHOEVER) goes away, never to return. AND IT HURTS. The person you love is…somewhere you’re not. And you’re here without them.
Sorry doesn’t seem appropriate. Of course I AM sorry, but it doesn’t encompass the trauma it sounds like you have been through. Sending peace.