I’m the only one who deals with this. I feel like it’s holding me back.
I was born with a disability.
My right ear, first of all, looks hideous, and second, it doesn’t even work. I’ve never been able to sense exactly where a noise is coming from. It’s like living with all the noises coming through earbuds on both ears, only on half volume. It sucks to think about.
No one else I know at my school has a disability.
But there’s more.
I love being in the school drama club. I love acting in musicals and plays. I love being in our academy concerts. I really do. But I don’t enjoy songs the way other people do. I was born to remember and judge songs by the tune, not the words. I hardly remember the words of a good, catchy song. Because of this, it takes sweet time for me to remember the words to a song. Especially songs I don’t have feelings for.
Often the amount of time I have to practice my songs for my concert, or for my musical, is much more than the normal amount. By the time I’m on stage, I haven’t remembered the words. I’ve never had a real solo. I’m being held back from one of my dreams.
I now love to write stories, and it’s another dream to become an author. But I will never forget that other dream. It calls my name, but I can’t reach it.
And Only I Feel It.
People take advantage. I talk really loud, and it sounds normal to me. Raising my voice any higher is screaming.
Guess what?
And Only I Feel It.
I want to be normal. Why can’t I be normal?
By-WeWillBand
Your love for stage arts shines so brightly! I’ve done some of that too, and it is a wonderful feeling!
But learning texts, I agree, it’s really hard – I thought it was just me, but apparently not! Sometimes, it helped hand-writing the text helped. Just copying from the page, writing it again and again. I only had a few lines, and even though I knew the point of what was being said, getting the words exactly right took ages. And the others on stage, and the director, were all unhappy with it.
I hope you find a stage group where you can be honest with what you need, and get the help and support to succeed on stage – and in life, finding a place where you can do the same.
Your normal is just different from others’ normal. I get that you may want it differently, and I hope you don’t have to feel out of place any more.