Living with depression is no small feat. Getting out of bed is hard – so hard- some days.
This is her story:
I am one of those people that has to make a decision everyday; I make the decision to keep trying. Keep trying to live. To improve. To get out of bed.
You may think I’m over-dramatizing, but as a person with chronic depression, a person without medical insurance, a person with a daughter who has special needs, a person without a job or an income, sometimes getting out of bed is a victory.
Sometimes I’m able to accomplish one or two things while I’m up, those are the good days.
Other days, once I’m out of bed, it’s a battle not to get immediately right back in. Sometimes, I start thinking about suicide. On those days, I have to remind myself of my decision to live. Sometimes, I have to tell myself to wait for tomorrow to decide anything. And when I do that, I know that I have to decide to live again tomorrow.
Some days are a little lighter. I can breathe and accomplish something and I might even be able to laugh. Those days give me a sense of hope. And sometimes that little dash of hope is all I need to sustain me through the darker times that lie ahead.
But, I know, as long as I keep making the decision to live – I will at least be here another day.
(ed note: keep on fighting the good fight. Much, much love to you, Prankster)
I have, through different circumstances felt exactly the same way. A lesson I learned, that I fall back on to this day is, just do the next best thing, break it down into tiny little steps that you can accomplish. Put feet on floor from bed, done. Brush teeth, done. Hug child, done. Feed body, done. And some days you will accomplish 10 next best things, sometimes 2. slowly but surely you will subconsciously start reclaiming your power. And ther eis power in baby steps.
I’m glad you chose to stay alive today
I know what you mean and I’m beyond thrilled that you’re fighting the good fight. Depression is an asshole – you deserve better.