I’m a girl – check that – a lady. I married a fantastic man. I have a crappy job, but it’s okay. I hobby (yeah, hobby as a verb, got a problem with that?) – I read, embroider, write to pen pals, and water my dead plants.
I get panic attacks. I have Bipolar II Disorder. But it’s okay. I mean, I can’t cure it…so, I live with it, right?
Don’t get me wrong, it blows serious monkey balls most of the time. I’m currently untreated and once my insurance kicks in, I’ll still have to wait another six months to have it covered, “pre-existing condition” and all. (Wait, wait, I’m getting to something.) I’ve got a few problems – so what, right? I’m with the Band and “problems” is one tune we all sing.
So why do I feel like I’m the first person to bring up bed-wetting? I’m no expert. I don’t have any kids. I don’t know anyone who’s ever done it…sober. I never did it as a kid. I mean, well, since I got potty trained. I’m good at being potty trained.
Recently, though, I peed the bed. Not even in a drunken haze. Just while sleeping, like a normal person. That’s what you do, right, sleep? And then, a few weeks later, I did it again!
What. The. Hell.
Add that to the migraines when I’m around blinking lights, a nervous twitch when my sister visits, panic attacks when I, well, whenever – it just happens on the roller coaster of being untreated Bipolar. That’s not enough? Now this?
For fuck’s sake, I’m an adult. I’m married. I share a bed with a man and two dogs. I yell at my little dog for peeing on the kitchen floor, but at least she’s not doing it in the bed. (You should see the looks she gives me, by the way.)
The only two times it has happened – hopefully the only two times it will ever happen – the only commonality I can see is that I had nightmares. I get nightmares pretty frequently, especially when I’m shifting between ups and downs, so it’s not like I can say, “Oh, it was the nightmares which caused them!”
The first incident was in the early morning hours. I awoke to myself peeing and ran to the bathroom. I finished, showered, and continued on with my day. No sheets were wet, just my pj’s. I told the Hub and we passed it off as maybe I drank too much water before going to bed, and was in too deep a sleep to fully wake up. Or maybe I was getting an UTI.
But whatever, accidents happen. We never mentioned it again.
The second incident, a few weeks later, I happened to be sleeping on the couch. (So, maybe I lied. Maybe I peed the bed once and the couch once. Hah! So, I’ve only peed the bed once!) I woke up in a virtual puddle. Thank goodness we have dogs and my couch is stain-guarded so nothing really soaked in. I ran to the bathroom, but I had already drained everything; and it was a LOT.
There I was, soaked in pee, in my living room. I cleaned up myself and the couch, and change into something dry. This was 2:00 in the am. I hate being up at that time – we don’t have cable and nothing’s on. I just stood and stared at my couch, willing it to dry faster. The husband woke up and stumbled to the living room “Are you coming to bed?”
I had fallen asleep watching television (I heart The Nanny reruns).
I had to tell him what happened.
We talked about it.
Did I remember the nightmare? No.
Did I drink a lot of anything before I went to bed? No.
Is there pain? Could I be pregnant? Is that even a symptom?
Have I been feeling all right in the brain lately? Any issues maybe that are bothering me that weren’t before? No.
Nothing seems different. Panic attacks seem more frequent lately, and the migraines last longer. That could be because I’m shifting schedules – downs to ups, you know.
Nothing seems to be triggering this new symptom.
Maybe all my other symptoms increasing in number and intensity are just putting my body through hell. Maybe it’s a new thing. Maybe I’ll do it again. Maybe I won’t do it again until I can see a proper doctor (November 2nd). Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I just don’t know enough about bed-wetting to be sure about anything. (I’m not even sure it’s hyphenated.)
I do know something, though. I know I have someone special in my husband. I know that even after I had cleaned it all up, my husband cleaned the couch. He still waited a day or two to sit down on it. He was so nice about the whole situation, though. He worried about me, and what this new activity means for me. He said he was sorry my broken brain was making my body do crazy things.
To relieve the new anxiety I had facing bedtime, he even cracked a joke and offered to put me out with the dogs for a potty break before bed. No, really, I laughed. It’s all I could do. But I threatened I might pee on the couch again if he made me laugh too hard. And we laughed at that.
And then we went to bed, nervous about what the night might bring.
May 17, 2011 at 8:53 am
sounds like you have an awesome husband that understands that its not your fault!
may i suggest depends at night? then, at least, it would make bedtime a bit more comfortabe and you wont have that worry.
you might also start the kegal excercises.
you are not alone…………i too have had this happen and im in my 40′s. the kegals have helped.
May 17, 2011 at 9:27 am
Are you on any kinds of meds for your other probs? Certain meds can cause a decrease in a hormone that keeps your bladder’s sphincter muscle working correctly. That’s a possibility given that you have migraines and anxiety problems, even if it’s a med you’ve been on for a while…it could have taken this long to build up in your system and start causing problems. Worth looking into!! In the meantime, I would invest in some of those incontinence underwear liners (the ones that look like regular pads?) just as a precaution. I don’t know if you are like me, but lack of sleep will trigger a monster-sized migraine!! And worrying about what could possibly happen while you are asleep will definitely keep you from sleeping.
I searched on The Google, cause I LOVE The Google, and there are several bajillion (or maybe less) articles on adult bed wetting…so, ask The Google about that and about whatever meds you are on…*bowing down to The Google* and sending you best wishes for a dry morning!
*and bowing down to your hubs…he sounds perfectly awesome!*
May 17, 2011 at 10:42 am
Your husband sounds incredibly awesome. I don’t really have any advice beyond what has been said. But I wanted to wish you much luck in this. And seriously, your husband is awesome.
MAMAKK922 (KRISTIN) says:
May 17, 2011 at 11:05 am
It sounds like you have a great and understanding husband. I wish I had an answer as to the bed wetting, I had a friend in High School who wet the bed until he was 18 he had to have a surgery for it, and I am sure that is not what you are experiencing, but I know he was so terribly ashamed of it. And he shouldn’t have been, it was a medical thing. And yours is too, and I hope you find out what it is soon. I agree with the others maybe the depends panty liners or whatever they are until you have more answer just for security or peace of mind.
And Google also might help, Tina is right there are so many things out there, be careful though some can scare the hell out of you. But it does help you not to feel alone.
May 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm
i have done this as an adult. not many times, but maybe 3 over the last 10 years. i have interstitial cystitis, a chronic inflammation of the bladder.
thanks for bringing up something a *wee* bit embarrasing & different. you’re never alone w: the band!
WALKINGBORDER (KAREN) says:
May 17, 2011 at 7:54 pm
I have a read a book, I don’t remember which, written by a girl with borderline personality disorder (not bipolar but in this case close enough) and she actually went through a phase in her illness where she wet the bed. Not nightly. Not even weekly. But a few times here and there. She brought it up in therapy. Her therapist assured her that it’s actual normal, and something that would go away. Sure enough, as meds kicked in and therapy went along, it stopped.
So I know you have a ways before you are in treatment. And I know bed-wetting must suck. But it is actually normal, and it will stop.
tracy in ohio says:
May 18, 2011 at 6:22 am
My daughter wet the bed until she was 11 and the doctor had explained that for some reason the signal from her bladder was not getting to her brain properly to wake her up.
I don’t know if that could be what is happening to you since it has only happened twice and maybe at that time your brain chemicals were doing some funky stuff.
Maybe consider getting the depends (full coverage briefs) or the ones that are just panty liners (can’t remember what they are called start with a p.) That might help with the anxiety since if it does happen you won’t have to worry about a mess.
You are very lucky to have such an understanding husband that helps you joke around about it. I think it helps relieve some of the anxiety when you can look at the lighter side of things.
Once you are able to see a doctor hopefully they will have answers for you. Of course you could try to see a doctor sooner since this is a *new* thing and not a pre-existing condition that may or may not be related to your other stuff.
Good luck hon!
May 19, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Keep on a’rockin’, The Band. Your advice and support mean a lot to me.
Thanks, ’cause you know it’s hard not to feel self-conscious about it.
I love the honesty of your post!
Thank you for your courage and honesty. My first thought was actually have you been checked for diabetes? Yes, brain chemistry and various other issues can cause this issue but I also know that bedwetting (nocturia) can be a symptom of an under (or in-) operative pancreas. Love how you and your husband are able to laugh about everything and move on with the day. He’s a keeper!!! But get your sugars tested just in case …hugs!