I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot lately.  She passed away 7 and a half years ago – tomorrow would have been her birthday.

When I’d write, she was always my editor, sounding board and supporter.  It makes me sad that she’s not around to bounce ideas off of.  But then again, it’s oddly freeing because she was my audience and she and I didn’t agree on a few things.  Now I don’t have to write what I think she would like, but what I want to writing.  And it’s also a bad idea to have a relative critique what you’ve written because feelings get thrown in. And then holy crap what do you do with that?!  Are they rejecting your writing or are they rejecting you?  What the heck did they really mean when they said that sentence had weird wording?

And I’ve been struck again by how much she is missing.  I just found out that preliminary tests show that I’m going to be an aunt again.  This will be niece or nephew number 9 (although, I’m leaning toward niece and I have mad baby predicting skills).  Mom was around for the first 4.  Four have been added since she passed and the baby to be named later will be number 5.  Not to mention I got hitched and skipped the whole mom thing and went straight to grandma.  (I highly recommend it.  Grandkids and nieces and nephews are the best inventions ever.) I’ve got 4 precious little ones of my own that Grandma Jessie would have loved.

But she made her choices, and maybe she’s watching wherever she is.