I have trust issues. I have issues with everything from trusting family to trusting people too easily to others using my words against me. To say that I have trouble finding friends is an understatement. I like to think I’ve finally learned my lesson.
I had a therapist, but it got to where every session was just a discussion of my week, not dealing with any true issues. Then, I made a new friend. And while I didn’t trust her immediately, over time she gained my trust, which is great, right? So, that was among the reasons I decided to part ways with my therapist. And everything was dandy for a while. I trust my friend with a lot of stuff. She’s a great listener, and I listen whenever she needs to sound off.
You know when something happens for someone else, and while it hurts like hell for you, you have to be happy for them? You are happy for them and you just tuck the hurt away, because they didn’t purposely hurt you – life happens, it moves on even when you don’t feel it. My friend moved a few hours away. Better job, happier days, and I’m glad for her, but I miss her. Yes, we have e-mail, Facebook, etc., but it’s not the same.
Another good friend who was an online pal is taking some personal time, so she’s not in contact.
It’s just difficult for me to trust people, and it makes me feel stuck. I’d like to think I can find new friends, but I don’t really know what I want.
How do you make friends? How do you figure out who’s worth your time and vice versa?
Which is probably why I spend way too much time online. I can tell you it’s because it’s hard to find time to make friends with work and school and kids, but really? It’s because I’m really freaking lousy at picking friends I can trust.
Yeah, I’m lousy at it as well, and it’s unfortunate it took so many failed friendships to realize it