Being diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a real struggle.
First, I’ve had to work at coming to grips with the diagnosis itself. Then there is my struggle with the alters – I have to find out who they are. I know they’re there, but I don’t know much about them. I have learned the names and ages of some, but not all of them. I am slowly learning their likes and dislikes and why they are there. They all hold memories of my abuse. Memories that I can’t recall.
There is a power struggle. I am the host, and I need to be in control, but some of them think that I still need to be protected so they come out to “save” me. They are parts of me stuck in the past. They don’t know what year it is and often times don’t even know what month or day it is either. I have to talk to them and remind them that I am the host and that I am married and my husband and I have seven kids. It really complicates things when one of them has a crush on my brother in-law.
I don’t tell many people about my DID because it’s a stigma.
Society has a warped idea of DID. Most people still call it Multiple Personality Disorder because they don’t realize that the name (and diagnostic criteria) has been changed. Hollywood often portrays it as a situation in which there is often one very violent alter; that’s not the case for me.
If you want to see what living with Dissociative Identity Disorder is like for me, I’d recommend watching the movie Sybil with Sally Fields. It’s a very accurate description of my experiences with DID.
Jan. 6, 2012, 12:38 p.m. 20418
There is hope. 🙂 I have a friend with DID, so I feel like I know some of what you’re going through. It is difficult, but there are people who understand – and there can also be moments of surprising joy as well. Just be patient with yourself and with your alters as much as you can. *hugz*
Jan. 6, 2012, 2:15 p.m. 20421
Thank your for opening my eyes to this mental health illness. I wish you well in your treatment. You are a strong woman to share your experience. You are helping to erase the stigma. ((hugs))
Jan. 6, 2012, 4 p.m. 20422
Thank you for sharing your story in the face of misconceptions:)
Jan. 6, 2012, 5:30 p.m. 20429
You are awesome! Telling your story gives hope for others and gives people a better understanding of DID.
Jan. 7, 2012, 9:48 a.m. 20450
Thank you for educating me about this. I knew little about it but will go find out more. xo
Jan. 7, 2012, 10:39 p.m. 20479
I can’t imagine how difficult it is to make peace with this. Thank you for sharing your story with us. <3