Y’all. I’m tired.
I’m so done with fucking everything.
I am tired of almost-daily migraines.
I’m tired of being overweight.
I’m tired of being tired and I’m tired of pain so much pain, I’m so tired I can’t do anything about it.
I’m tired of trying to find a sex drive and energy to keep the house clean for my husband.
I’m tired of being the only person in this marriage who can put a fucking piece of sausage in a ziplock bag when it is sitting right in front of my husband.
I’m tired of being the only person at work who can do a damn thing and getting bitched out or people bitching about me. Apparently I’m the only person out of 50 that can answer any question and then nobody listens to me. Oh, yeah, you’re in trouble because you did the thing I said you can’t do and it is still my fault? Fuck off.
I’m tired of being responsible and ordering my medications a few days before I am out. I’m tired of going in on the day after I take my last medication, and I’m tired of having them tell me to come back after 2:30, I’m tired to be told, oh, no, she didn’t do anything on this prescription, I’m tied of coming back tomorrow!!
I miss the days when I was young and not tired and didn’t give a fuck and would just go get drunk and tell the guy pissing me off to go to hell. I miss my old prescription for Ativan.
None of those things ever actually helped, but I could at least escape for a little while.
Posting here to The Band felt good. I encourage any of you out there to write for the site: doesn’t matter what. Click here
Girl, I feel so much of you on this. The chronic migraines that started 3 years ago left me severely debilitated for months and months. I finally got a referral to a neurologist who started me on Botox. I’ve been on it for close to 3 years. It SAVED my life. I still get migraines a couple of times a month. Occasionally I’ll get one that lasts longer than a day. My neuro is awesome. I can call and they will bring me right in for a shot of toradol and some oxygen. Really helps tone it down. Overall even the migraines I have now are shorter and lower pain level about 90% of the time.
I am lucky that my husband and kids learned how to pick up a lot of the slack when I am feeling like shit. My kids are teens now so that helps.
I am tired about 75% of the time…I have bipolar 2 with generalized anxiety and anxiety is exhausting. Everything makes me feel overwhelmed without adderal and ativan. Sometimes I have to take 2 adderal to give me the energy to do anything but then I have to take an ativan to calm it down. I feel like I’m some kind of crazy pill poppin’ suburban mom – but it’s the only thing that gets me through the day. Most of my friends and family have no idea and I won’t tell them. I hope you find a way to get some balance in your life with all this shit. It is HARD.