I’m so done with fucking everything.
I’m tired of being overweight.
I’m tired of being tired and I’m tired of pain so much pain, I’m so tired I can’t do anything about it.
I’m tired of trying to find a sex drive and energy to keep the house clean for my husband.
I’m tired of being the only person in this marriage who can put a fucking piece of sausage in a ziplock bag when it is sitting right in front of my husband.
I’m tired of being the only person at work who can do a damn thing and getting bitched out or people bitching about me. Apparently I’m the only person out of 50 that can answer any question and then nobody listens to me. Oh, yeah, you’re in trouble because you did the thing I said you can’t do and it is still my fault? Fuck off.
I’m tired of being responsible and ordering my medications a few days before I am out. I’m tired of going in on the day after I take my last medication, and I’m tired of having them tell me to come back after 2:30, I’m tired to be told, oh, no, she didn’t do anything on this prescription, I’m tied of coming back tomorrow!!
I miss the days when I was young and not tired and didn’t give a fuck and would just go get drunk and tell the guy pissing me off to go to hell. I miss my old prescription for Ativan.
None of those things ever actually helped, but I could at least escape for a little while.
Posting here to The Band felt good. I encourage any of you out there to write for the site: doesn’t matter what. Click here