First of all, because you’ve been in our lives forever and you are the mother of our grandchildren, my husband and I will always love you.
But girl, you need to get a grip.
So, it didn’t work out with you and our son. I’m sorry. I wish you two could go on forever and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that’s not how it worked. You’re hurt and angry and bitter and I get it. I’ve been in your shoes. Luckily, I was in your shoes before Facebook. I had plenty of people see me go through the process, but it wasn’t the whole freaking world.
That said, let me tell you how you’re coming across. It’s been over a year and you’re still posting things from Pinterest about how men need to treat women and how to let go of that one person that hurt you.
It’s time to stop worrying about what he did or didn’t do and accept that it’s over and move on.
But that’s not really what this letter is about.
That was my recommendation as one who has been there.
What this letter is really about is the rampage you’ve been on lately about your ex’s new lady. See, here’s the deal. You keep talking about karma and you can’t wait until the karma bus hits her.
Sweetie, you need to look both freaking ways before you cross the street because karma truly is “you get back what you give out.”
Yes, he cheated on you. But it wasn’t with this current girlfriend. It was with someone else. This one has done nothing to you except show you that your relationship with him wasn’t the dream you thought it was.
You went all psycho on Facebook about her taking pictures with your daughters and posting them. But here’s the thing: would you rather have him with a woman who loves and adores your daughters or someone who doesn’t care about them? You are doing everything to make her job with them miserable.
Let me tell you. Being a step-parent or the significant other to someone with kids is HARD. You’ve watched me struggle with it for a decade. When your partner’s ex is treating you like crap for it, it becomes almost impossible.
Here’s the thing with karma. I hope you don’t start dating a man with kids. Because the karma bus could hit you like a ton of bricks. The way you’re treating your ex’s new lady is the way you could be treated later.
You might want to think about that.
Oh, and you may want to look at your friends that have been encouraging your behavior.
*applauds* WELL SAID!
Narcissisits….this is a huge life long problem with families! Many times I ask why? why have I had to live with this all my life? Having a parent who has this horrible disease…let’s just say it has made a miserable life for me. Now she has Alzhiemers…and I am the one “now” I do my best to care for her even tho she is in a nursing home I just can’t take her anymore. Love runs so deeply with me, compan=ssion runs deep…what do I do to depart from the Narcissists? I feel my life has been wasted and I tried my best and loved to the fullest, but never am I or was I good enough. Narcissists are cruel evil people and dangerous…what do I do?
Well done! Step-parenting is difficult enough without bitterness from the other parent.
I don’t have kids and haven’t dated anyone with kids, but I know that it would break my heart if someone treated me like crap for loving the kids too.
I also believe this new girlfriend of the cheater needs to understand, she will probably be cheated on as well. Cheaters don’t change, and for some people those wounds heal slower. Maybe your ex-daughter in law is a slow healer, be patient and kind. More kind. I don’t care that as a society we just don’t care about the one who lost her family, lost her dream, probably lost a piece of her heart. Instead we say things like your not alone, so what it happens to everyone. I remember that pain, it doesn’t hurt anymore for me; but maybe for her it’s still shredding her soul. Maybe her pain is misdirected for the time being, but as a potential step parent and in a relationship with a cheater you have to expect it to be a rough ride.
Thank you hockeymom! Well said. She is wounded and not healing. No self esteem and no trust. She needs support, unconditional love and lots of therapy. She is still in the anger phase and for many it takes a LONG time to heal. This woman is defensive because her son is a cheater.