I’m so glad I found this place.
I was feeling so alone. I freeze when I meet people I don’t know. My parents have messed me up big time. My mother, who I no longer have anything to do with, is a bisexual, bipolar mess. My father is an alcoholic who gets in touch to ease his own conscience. I’ve been doing it alone for years. Some days, I am strong for my two girls; others I’m a mess and feel like a failure who yells.
My brother, who is now disabled after being attacked in jail, cannot speak: he can only say yes and no. My mother decided to kill him “for his own good,” or so she says. Her only punishment was home detention and supervision.
I’m getting off track….
I feel I’m the only sane one in a big storm that’s only just starting to subside. I get lost in the mess or drama at times. I am more than that. I am not just a product of two alcoholic parents. I am my own person. I am a young woman who has endured too much in her short life. I want to be free of it all. I keep myself going by keeping busy with cleaning, gardening…I’m an artist who has an opinion.
I want to say to anyone out there who has a messed up family life that you are not alone: it does get better. Your situation does not make you who you are. I would love to talk to anyone who feels the same in this life. Please
feel free to share, too.
Hooray for you for empowering yourself and seeing that you are more than what you’ve survived!
We are all more then what has happened to us. thank you for sharing.
We’re so glad that we have you here! You’re right that our situations don’t define us. It’s a valuable thing to always remember.
I’m sorry terribly sorry for all that you’ve been through, but I really appreciated reading your post. So much I can relate to and your point of view on the whole thing is inspiring. Too often, and sometimes unconsciously, we allow our past or our current situation to play a large role in forming our self-concept. I think your attitude, what you believe, is the most important factor in determining who you are.
I really like this social psych idea of B=f[(PxA)xS]. That is, Behavior is a function of Personality and Attitude in a given Situation. Personality (as used here) is a persons unique pattern of thinking and feeling. Core Personality doesn’t change a whole lot. Situations very much affect our behavior and our self-concept, and in most cases Situation also isn’t something you can completely control. But Attitude. What you believe. That is what you totally can control. So from this point of view, your attitude/beliefs are the largest determining factor in your current and future functioning.
Sorry, I ramble. Basically trying to say I think your attitude, your outlook on your situation, is great. Instead of falling into a victim role, you refused it and are determined to not be defined by your situation. Thats really awesome and I appreciated hearing it. As you can probably tell by my longwinded reply, I enjoy discussing this stuff, so if you’re looking for someone to chat with feel free to let me know and I’ll give you my email or fb.
Best of luck. You’ve got this.
I can relate to so much of this. Even though it feels lonely, you are absolutely not alone. We might be spread out all over the Internet, but we are here for you. It takes courage to walk away from toxic people and strength to take the lessons you’ve learned with you and not look back. You are making your own path with your own family now. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you are here!