My daughter brought home her  first trimester report card yesterday. She got all A’s and B’s, which I know will make her grandparents proud. I’m proud too, of course. But….

I read more than the report card. I read her progress report on her IEP goals. The report that says she’s making “slight progress” in her language arts and math classes. These are classes she takes in the cognitively impaired (special ed) room. The report also reminds me that she reads at a third grade level in some areas, and at a first grade level in others. She’s been at a third grade level since about fifth grade. She is in seventh grade.

This is when the anxiety creeps in again.  When I start to worry about her future.  Will she ever read at higher than a third grade level?  Will she ever be able to do more than basic arithmetic?   If she can’t take the standardized tests in high school, will she even get a diploma?  College is likely out of the question, but there’s a tech school here in town through the school system, maybe she can go there?

Then there’s the jealousy.  Hearing my friends and acquaintances  kids’ read four grade levels beyond their age – skip grades – attend Big 10 colleges – earn all A’s.

Then I just try to focus on what’s happening right now.  One day at a time.  Push those worries back to that dark corner of my mind.

Until the next report card comes.