In June of 2017 my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. She passed away in November. My husband and I have custody of our 11 year old granddaughter. Grieving is taking it’s toll. Last month I was admitted to the hospital for being suicidal.
I think about my daughter all the time. I spent every minute in the hospital with her for 5 months. Telling my granddaughter that her mom was dead was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. Whenever I go outside for a smoke, I think of my daughter. Whenever I drive the car, it reminds me of the drive to the hospital.
My mind won’t stop thinking suicidal thoughts. My brain constantly hammering me with negative thoughts. I’m hopeless, sad and feel out of my body. I don’t recognize my thoughts or myself. I am so lost. The emptiness is everywhere and I don’t know what to do.
I’ve been treated for depression for years and have had suicidal thoughts the entire time. I spent 2 days in the psych ward. I slept most of the time. I attend an outpatient program and went to a new psychiatrist today. He said my bipolar diagnosis was incorrect and adjusted my medications.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is every parents worst nightmare and you have to live it. All my love and hopes that you can find some way to stay with us. I don’t know you but I love you and I’m certain the world is brighter with you in it.
Thank you so much
Oh darling, I’m so very sorry for losing your beautiful daughter. This post is perfect; beautiful and raw. I wish I had the words to take this pain from you – I’m just so sorry.
Thank you so much
Thank you for sharing your daughter with us.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know no words will ease your pain. Please remember you are loved and valued.
I love you.
I’m sorry about the loss of your daughter. Your emotions, even the extreme ones are normal for what you are going through. The world is no doubt a better place with you in it and I hope you keep working with therapy and grief counseling for yourself and your granddaughter. I hope you and your family are able to heal and find peace soon.
Sending you strength hope and endurance for each day. I am sorry for your loss and I’m grateful you came here to speak your heart!
We love you Step.❤️💞
I had no idea. If there’s anything I cando. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry that you lost your daughter. I can not begin to imagine how difficult it must be for you. Please know that you are valued and so important to your granddaughter. Good for you for getting the support that you need right now. Sending you all the love and prayers for healing. Keep reaching out for help whenever you need it and keep going.
I cannot begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling with losing your daughter, and having watched it happen before your eyes. I would imagine it was a very helpless feeling. I wish I had the perfect words that could take away your pain, and leave only the wonderful memories behind. I wish… my counselor reminds me -you have to feel the bad, to be able to fee the good- Right now you are feeling so much of the bad. I’m so very sorry for the pain you are feeling. One day, the pain will be a little less. You will remember her smile, and it won’t have such a sharp pain. Then one day you realize you can smile when you think of something she said or did. Not today. Not next week. Maybe in a year. Sending you much love❤️