I take four breaths every day.

6:15 AM – My boy wakes up. Deep inhale. What will the day be like today for him; for us?

8:00 AM – Exhale. The noise deadline our downstairs neighbor has imposed (“Can’t you find some way to keep him quiet?”) has passed. Now he can play in his room.

8:15 AM – Inhale. He is on the bus for school.

Most of this past month I have gotten multiple calls or emails during the morning hours- “He kicked a student,” “He climbed on the desk,” “Other parents are complaining,” “He hit a teacher,” “I’m trying to understand his disorder,” “We really love your son and want to help him, but we may need to discuss a more restrictive environment.”

If those calls do not come by 12:55, when he is in his afternoon small-group special ed. classroom, I can exhale.

4:30 PM – Inhale. Hoping for a smooth homework, dinner, and bath routine.

If all goes well and no one is screaming by 7:00 PM I’ll exhale.

7:30 PM – Inhale. Just a bit longer now – PJs, brush teeth, read story. Melatonin has made this routine so much easier at night, but does extend the stretch of time between wakeup and noise deadline in the morning.

8:30 PM – He sleeps. Deep exhale. He has probably been corrected many more times than he has been praised. He has told me detailed stories about school, Thomas the Train, the solar system, insects. He has gone to therapy yet has not been able to keep his body still for more than five minutes all day. He has called me “cute little Mommy,” but called a teacher’s aide “a moron.” He has gotten along better with his little sister and lost his first tooth. He has heard and spoken the words, “I love you.”

He has lived another day, and so have we.