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My story all begins in August of 1976, my birth mother was 17 and was pregnant with me. So before she had me she had my sister who is supposed to be 4 years older than me. That would put my birthmom at 13 when she had her. That daughter was taken by the state and considered unadoptable because she sat in the corner and rocked back and forth. Well fast forward to 76. I was told her parents had told her she had already made one mistake and if she had me they would disown her. So she threw herself down two flights of stairs. She ended up going into labor and because I was seven or so months gestation I survived I weighed 4lbs5oz well she took me home and life began. It was said she was a drug user and abuser and that while she was under the influence she would hold me under water to watch the bubbles come up. I was also told she used me as her personal ashtray. I was also told she would use her foodstamps to buy drugs cause back in that time they were like paper money and were traded for real money or drugs. Anyway my adopted mother was telling her best friend how all she wanted for Christmas was a baby. Well the best friend had a sister and that sister knew my birth mother. So oneday when my moms second husband was at work or somewhere he came out to his car and there I was. I was dressed in a dirty T-shirt that they had used as a makeshift diaper. So he took me home and zipped me up in his coat this was winter time in Charolette NC. So he goes in to the house and unzips his coat and shoes me to my mom. My mom then begins adoption proceedings. Well I had to go back to my birth mother and I was told she burned all the dresses my mom bought and didn’t use the burn cream for my bottom where she used me as an ashtray. So my mom finally gets me and my birth mother tried to stop the adoption because she would lose her benefits. The judge didn’t allow it so I was adopted at 14 mo old and I weighed 11 pounds. Then when I was about two my moms second marriage ended because her second husband threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t stop crying. So she moved back home with her parents. Well we lived with them till my mom remarried to my dad and he adopted me to give me his last name. Well every time I was adopted my birth certificate was legally changed to represent my current parents and their respective ages at the time I was born. However many years later my mother confided in me when I told her of abuse from a family member that had happened. She told me her father my granddaddy whom I called daddy for years had molested her until she came back home with me after I was adopted. Only after she returned home did she confront him and say it was over. So I think possibly she got pregnant by him and moved away remarried and had me. But everytime I tried to talk about my adoption and wanted to search she would tell me to talk to my granddaddy he was supposed to have all the paper work well he would tell me to go see my mom that she had the papers. This man never threw anything away so it’s odd to me that the papers were never found which also makes me think something shady happened. But no one in the family that is left will talk about it.  My granddaddy was a raging alcoholic for years and only stopped drinking when the dr told him if he didn’t he would die he abused my uncles and my mom. But my records are sealed as it was all considered a private adoption and unless I have a terminal illness or need an organ that my children can’t provide or something on that level I’d have to petition the courts to unseal my records and they can still deny the request. So I don’t know the truth for sure and it doesn’t really matter I guess other than to finally have answers. I hold no ill will to anyone involved no matter which story is true. I feel bad that my mom suffered that abuse I’ve been abused sexually and I know how that feels. I just wish I could know the truth just so I’d know where I belong. But as the time has passed I have an awesome husband and three great kids so I have a family I’d just like to have medical information. So there it is my story I hope it helps.