That is the question that is burning in my mind. Has been for several months. Should I stay and try yet again to “work it out” or should I cut my losses and figure out how to do it on my own? Should I go to school full-time, raise three kids, and find a job that will pay the bills?
I am tired of the bullshit excuses. Blame for everything that goes wrong. Being ignored when I try to speak up and be heard.
I wrote you a letter yesterday. I poured my heart out typing it up. I cried the whole time I did it. You read it and simply asked me what I planned to do. You made no apologies for what you have done. Didn’t beg me to stay and work it out. I got nothing from you.
Today, you are going about your day like nothing has happened.
I’ve been waiting for you to come downstairs and ask me what I’m making you for lunch. You’re incapable of feeding yourself. I am tired of raising you like a child. Telling you what to do and when to do it. Otherwise, you do nothing.
I have done nothing but sacrifice myself for you and I have nothing to show for it. No gifts of appreciation. Nothing. I am ready to move on with my life. I am ready to be happy instead of feeling like crap all the time. My depression is gone now that I added new medication but I am still not happy. Who would be in my situation?
You told your brother that you were going to go back to acting like you did when we first got together. That is only going to push me away. I don’t want an even more irresponsible person to take care of. I wanted an equal. I have been fighting for that for over a year.
Funny thing is, I still want to protect you like you are my child.
I know that have been enabling this relationship for too long. Now? I feel like I have one foot out the door already.