I’ve decided to have an abortion. It was a very difficult decision, but I know it is right for my partner and me and he is fully supportive. We have a 6-month old, we are completely financially strapped, and having a baby was so out of the question for us right now that I actually had an appointment to get an IUD inserted 6 days after I peed on the stick.
The decision is made, the procedure is rather straightforward, and I’m not worried at all… until the moment I have to leave the clinic after my abortion.
I’m most afraid of how I will cope emotionally after the all is said and done. I’m sure I’m doing the right thing for our situation, and us but I don’t handle emotional stress well.
My first pregnancy was plagued with severe antenatal depression and I worry how that will play in.
For all of you going through infertility treatments and struggling with all the emotions that go along with that, I’m so very sorry and I don’t mean to be insensitive.
Have any of you been in this situation?
How do you handle the inevitable emotional fallout after an abortion?
Did you regret it?
Because, oh my goodness, I’m so scared I’m going to regret it. Choosing abortion is, in part, choosing the path that will be the least psychologically damaging for me in the long run. But I’m still so scared.
This is so difficult. It’s something that is hard to do, but is sometimes the right thing for everyone involved, like in your situation. When I was 20 I had an abortion and I’ve often wondered how my life would have changed since I’ve never had kids. But I can’t say I regret it. At the time, it was what I needed to do.
I was sad, but I knew I wasn’t ready to take care of a baby. Sometimes you just have to deal with the sorrow–feel it and allow its validity–and then move on from it. Your six month old needs you to be present.
You have a baby, and really need to think about your baby and the life you’re making with your boyfriend now. It’s something that you’ll think about, but it sounds like the right thing for you.
This sounds like a really hard situation to be in. We are here for you as you go through this. Sending you love.
I remember that fear when I went through this at 21. I was newly engaged, barely managing financially and emotionally and (on some level anyway) aware that my fiance at the time and I were nowhere near ready to parent.
The hardest part about these issues is that just because we make this choice knowing it’s the right choice for our lives, it’s a difficult decision and fraught with guilt, potential judgment, and what-ifs. And that’s before we account for the physical and hormonal. I encourage you to be kind to yourself as you recover and try to keep your focus on your toddler.