again. my spirit, that is.
its one of those days where i have to consciously push against the gravitational pull of grief.
it has been a week since T left. it has been almost ten months since i was pregnant with my babies
by accident i typed ‘ten weeks,’ realized that it has been so much longer than that and just crumbled.
where did all the time go?
i have never been prepared to not realize my goals or get where i want to be in life. i am intelligent and capable. i am kind and helpful. i go over and above in almost every exchange and interaction.
but none of that means anything, and failure could be here to stay.
i feel very alone, and not because T isn’t here, i have felt this way even while in his arms.
i’m not the person i thought i would grow up to be and i’m not sure how to live as the substitution