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I was 35 weeks pregnant when I found out our daughter no longer had a heartbeat. I gave birth to her sleeping 5 days later.

All my husband and I wanted was to be parents.  It took a few years to conceive Leia, but once we did it was bliss.  There was a lot of heartburn, and morning sickness but I didn’t care.  I loved being pregnant.  Loved feeling her move inside of me, and kicking.

We threw ourselves into preparing for her arrival, and had her room all ready. My nice pink new suitcase all packed, the new diaper bag all ready to go, the car seat safely installed in the car.

What we couldn’t do was prepare ourselves for her not coming home.  For her dying.

Losing Leia was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I had been writing letters to her for 6 months in utero.  I had no idea how I could stop writing to my baby girl, so I never did.

It’s been almost 7 months since we said hello and goodbye to our daughter.  I am currently expecting our rainbow baby but we will never get over losing Leia.