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The scars of child sexual abuse last a lifetime.

This is her brave story:

Hi, The Band. I’m not too sure where to start, so I’ll start here.

My uncle’s friend was a police officer. He had a daughter and we played together often; we were like a family all hanging out together.

One night, when I was I was 9 years old, I slept over at his home…everything changed..

Suddenly, I was in his bedroom, the room was dark, and he was on top of me. I started to feel him going in and out of me (sorry I’m not yet able to be specific).

It hurt so much.

I couldn’t do anything.

I couldn’t scream.

Wasn’t I supposed to do what he told me to?

I did. I turned when he told me to, I did all he told me to, and I did nothing to stop it. I just squeezed the sheets tight and hoped for it to be over. But it kept happening, like there was no end.

Finally it was over, or so I thought. Because even now that I’m 22, I still relive it over and over again.

I have PTSD with severe anxiety, seems like there’s no end to this nightmare.

Last year made it worse – my friend sexually assaulted me, I choose not to call it “rape” as it makes it seem so much worse.

I don’t know what to do or think; sometimes I don’t know how to live – I cut my wrist sometimes. Each time I promise that I won’t do it again, but it’s almost addictive especially at my low points. I don’t trust men, especially police officers – it’s ironic how those who are supposed protect us are the ones who hurt us.

I just need someone who can understand what I’m going through, someone who’ve been there, someone I can talk to, and won’t think that I’m too messed up.

I need help.