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In the United States, every 107 seconds, someone is sexually assaulted. Four of every five sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. 68% of all sexual assaults go unreported to the proper authorities.


Why do so many sexual assaults go unreported?

Shame. Self blame. Embarrassment. Fear that no one would believe their story. Fear that they may have caused it. Not wanting to be the victim. Wanting to move past the sexual assault. There are a multitude of reasons why sexual assaults go unreported.

Just as there are a number of types of rape (gang rape, date/acquaintance rape, intimate partner rape, statutory rape, sexual assault), there are a multitude of responses to sexual assault. Each of which is completely normal.

This year, The Band Back Together Project is shining a light into the darkness of sexual assault. Please share your story of sexual assault so that we can Light the Darkness. 

All are welcome.

Can a male adult be abused and raped?

A gay male friend of mine has a female friend who has been bothering him, abusing him, stalking him. He has low self-esteem and a difficult time standing up for himself. His father has rejected him because of his sexual orientation, and he has had a difficult time coming to grips with that.

She started showing up where he was when he would travel for work or on personal vacation.

Then she isolated him.

She asked him to have sexual intercourse. He refused.

She offered herself as an experiment to see if maybe he was straight and didn’t realize it. She continued asking despite the fact that he repeatedly said no.

Many of those times he said no, she just forced herself on him.

He said he does not remember how he felt during or after, but remembers that he avoided being alone with her many times so that he wasn’t put in the same position.  He felt like there was no way to say no that she would listen to as she would do what she wanted to anyway.

She manipulated the situation to the point of saying they can have children together and to continue traveling together as friends. He wanted to do it as a  sperm donation with no more physical contact, she refused and threatened with no baby.

He was forced again and now she is pregnant.

Once she got pregnant she threatened him with abortion if he refused to live with her as a couple and have more babies.

He wants the baby and he feels like he is trapped.