by Band Back Together | Jul 15, 2014 | Divorce, Single Parenting, Single Parenting by Choice, Teen My Parents Are Divorcing |
Life after divorce is never easy. Yes, to you it might turn out as a pleasant change for a while, due to the release you got from all of your pain and misery, but it would be a difficult change for your children to deal with. The protection the children felt from having both parents at home is no longer there.
Once the couple has been separated, the children find themselves clueless and directionless in the whole wide world. The guardian parent has to understand this situation and act accordingly to save the lives of children from getting ruined. If you are a single parent who recently got divorced and is now in between of a parent juggling act, here are 3 tips on how to make the transition a little easier for your children:
1. How to Get Respect from Your Children.
A parent stopping his/her child from doing something and the kid yelling back or screaming isn’t a very rare situation in lives of single parents. If your child has told you several times that he hates you and you are the worst father or mother in the world, trust me, you aren’t the only one experiencing this. Now, most parents lose their mind in such situations and either begin heated arguments or start shouting or hitting the children.
There is absolutely no doubt about the fact that you deserve utmost respect from your children. However, you will have to earn that respect, not by being bossy but by being reasonable, mature and friendly. You must be friendly with your children so that they can open up to you. When a child feels free to be open with a parent, if they want something, they will want to express their reasons why they want it. In turn, you will be able to make a more informed decision. No matter what your answer is, by building up a better relation with the child, you will avoid him/her feeling disrespected or being neglected.
2. Spend Uninterrupted Time with Your Kids
The last thing your kids want is you ignoring them. When a couple separates, the children have to live with either parent. They can never be with both parents at the same time. Depending on the agreement between the parents, children may spend particular times of the year with father or mother but in very rare cases they can be with both the father and mother. Keeping this factor in mind, you have to give your children adequate amount of attention. You should try spending uninterrupted time with the kids so that they don’t feel the fact that either of their parent is missing in their life.
3. Try To Maintain A Mature Relationship With Your Ex
Just because you have separated from your partner doesn’t mean that you cannot see your ex again. Being a parent, it should be your highest priority to do anything and everything to make your children’s lives and future better. You shouldn’t tell your children that their other parent was the one at fault or wasn’t worth being a parent. You should instead let your kids decide what kind of relationship they want to keep with your ex. Your children would most likely resent you for separating them from the father or mother, if you tell them to stay away or be at a distance.
It is important that you maintain a mature relationship with your ex so that you both can meet up occasionally in order to make sure your children’s lives aren’t falling apart. There are occasions when you and your former spouse have to meet up to celebrate the happy moments of your children or to provide support in their sad ones. It is not rare for divorced people to gather up on the birthdays of their children. You should do it too if it helps your children’s healthy growth, physically and mentally.
Handling life and children after divorce is certainly difficult. However, if you follow the above mentioned instructions and take wise decisions throughout the years, you can stop your children from fighting with you day in and day out, and feel incomplete without both the parents.
by Band Back Together | Jul 14, 2014 | Fear, Gang Rape, Healing From A Rape or Sexual Asault, Rape/Sexual Assault, Trust |
Age 16 was a nightmare.
I was a nightmare.
Drinking, Drugs, Sex, Violence. You name it, I did it.
I have a whole month that is one giant black hole. I remember snippets here and there, but they come few and far between. I was a black-out drinker, living with a drug dealer, and every night was a party.
But there’s one flashback I keep getting and I wish I had the rest of the pieces to the puzzle of that night.
I know I was drinking.
A lot.
I know people kept handing me drinks.
More.
More.
More.
The last thing I remember is waking up naked in a bed with four guys who were not my drug-dealing boyfriend. I remember trying to find my clothes. I remember being scared and not knowing what happened or how I got to be in that situation.
What happened that night?
Why?
Even at my drunkest, I still had a sliver of morality. I’d never in a million years consent to something like that.
Here I am, years later, STILL trying to put the pieces together.
Was I raped?
Was I drugged?
I don’t know!
and it kills me.
I’m scared of the truth
by Band Back Together | Jul 11, 2014 | Date/Acquaintance Rape, Fear, Guilt, Healing From A Rape or Sexual Asault, Rape/Sexual Assault, Sadness, Shame |
I found this site while googling help for sexual assault.
At the end of what I thought was a good night with friends, my friend’s husband touched me inappropriately. Down there.
I was asleep and woke to find him breathing over me, with his hands where they shouldn’t be. I got out of there so quickly that I didn’t even bother to find my shoes. I have been through a difficult time recently and during the evening I had confided in my friends about how I was feeling. It only adds to how violated I feel.
His wife is lovely and we have become close friends in the year that we have known each other, but now I don’t know what to do. What do I say when I don’t want to go to her house? I can’t tell her, I don’t want to lose her as a friend. I can’t tell anyone else, I’m already judging myself. The fact that he would do this while I was asleep makes me wonder if he has he done this to other people. I feel so lost, dirty and ashamed.
by Band Back Together | Jul 10, 2014 | Inpatient Psychiatric Care, Mental Health, Parkinson's Disease, Terminal Illness |
I have read many stories on here.
I “fit in,” believe it or not, in many categories. I fit in, for once in my life.
Terminal Ilness.
Mental illness.
I don’t feel like I’m the outcast here. For once, I feel like maybe my problems are not so big that I do not have enough strength to handle them.
I had it all.
Great life.
Great job.
Great family.
Then bam!
It was all gone in a flash.
Like a head on collision.
I was severely injured by a patient at the psychiatric hospital I worked at. I had to have my spine, from my head to my butt, reconstructed. I was asked to press charges against this person.
But why ruin two lives?
It was not his fault.
He was not on the correct medications.
That is why he was there.
I could very well now be the “psych” patient that attacks someone without meaning to. I would hope they would some how find it in their heart to forgive me…
by Band Back Together | Jul 9, 2014 | Bullying, Childhood Bullying, Fear, How To Heal From Being Bullied, Self-Esteem |
I was 7 years old when they started to bully me. I was only a kid. I don’t understand what I did to them.
At first I would laugh along with them, but soon I realized that those words hurt. Didn’t they see I looked up to them? They hurt me so badly that many times I thought I didn’t deserve to live. I thought it was my fault.
They robbed me of my childhood, I would go to sleep crying, hoping the next day it wouldn’t be as bad. I asked for help, but instead, I was told to “man up.” How is an eight year old suppose to do that? After a few years they finally stopped. I had my friends and family, but I would still felt worthless, like I didn’t matter.
I forgave them, but those scars are still there.
I can still hear all those horrible things they said to me in my head. The only way I survived was that I made myself stop feeling emotions. Things would happen to me in my life, but I would no longer feel them. I talk to my former bullies now as if nothing ever happened, but whenever they look at me, I feel like I’m 7 again, hiding in a corner, scared.
Little by little, I have been able to put myself together again, to start to feel, but those painful memories just don’t go away. Whenever I remember those painful memories all I can ask myself is what did I do to them to make them hate me so much? I was only a kid.
