So I have recently started this “lifestyle change.”
If I call it a “diet,” I will fail miserably as I have a thousand other times. I try really hard to watch what I eat. Most days I keep a nifty online journal that tells me how many calories I can have and how many I’ve consumed. It’s really been helpful. Tonight, I even walked two and a half miles, which is awesome for me. I’m still sitting here sweatin’ my balls off!
It’s HARD not to get discouraged. The last three weeks I have pretty much stuck to eating 1600 calories, which means that I should lose about two pounds a week. I have only lost two pounds altogether and depending on the time of day that I weigh myself, I haven’t even lost that.
I know everyone is different and all that jazz. I know I shouldn’t weigh myself all the time. I know I have been drinking almost a gallon of water a day to fight hunger. I know I should walk more. I know what I should know.
I know I will lose the weight. I know I need to. I have gained almost 100 pounds since high school and there’s no reason for that. Yes, I had three children, I have a stressful job and a hard marriage. Still, not a good excuse. I really think I’m more disappointed in myself for listening to all the excuses and letting my weight get so out of control.
I have a constant fight with my reasoning. If I eat just one more bite, it won’t hurt. I have to finish my whole plate or I will be wasting money.
My whole life I thought that I was fat because family always said I was. Once, I asked for a snack and my mom replied “and you wonder why you’re so fat.” I was only 10. But looking back at pictures, I see I wasn’t fat, I was beautiful. Maybe if my family and kids at school hadn’t been cruel, I would have cared about how I looked. Then maybe I wouldn’t have been so discouraged. Now that I have friends who encourage me, I know that I can do it. I can lose this weight.
It’s up to me now. I have to get myself out of this mess. It’s going to be a long, hard journey. I will probably fail – I usually do. I’m going to try really hard not to. I have awesome support group this time. I will exercise my self-control. This will be a journey of hits and misses. I cannot and will not get discouraged.
I really need to get hot for Aunt Becky’s cruise (ed note: WOO-HOO!). I need to be able to wear a swimsuit in the Bahamas and not look like a beached whale.
100 lbs. That’s all.
I cannot wait to know what it feels like 100 pounds lighter. That’s a whole person. Somewhere, I will find the willpower.
And I will do it!
You can do it. I know you can. Because you’re going to be shaking your fabulous ass on the cruise with me. I can’t wait.
I’m currently at 275, which is about 65-70 pounds lighter than my all-time high. 40-45 of those lost pounds have come in the last year.
I did a blog post on MommyWantsVodka about this back on June 25th. Go read it.
Remember: Learn to eat properly; forget about dieting.
You’re on of my besties I love you a lot and know that you can do this! You are strong and amazing…and we need to look hot when were on the mother effin boat! Cause we are most def. Going and gonna have a blast!
Whether you weigh 100 pounds, 300 pounds, or 500 pounds, you are still awesome. You don’t need to make excuses or explain anything. Congratulations on making a change for better health, and you will do great!
Good luck. I need to get going with a lifestyle change myself.
you need to weigh yourself at the SAME time every day, preferably in the morning before you’ve had anything to eat or drink. then DO NOT weigh yourself again for the rest of the day. it would be best if you could just weigh yourself once a week – but, i understand being addicted to the scale!
it’s all about choices. healthy choices every time. every bite. and when you slip up, screw it! just make the next choice a healthy one.
and, forget that “wasting money” logic. that food is gone and done with whether it’s in your stomach or in the garbage. when you’re full, THROW THE REST AWAY – or better yet, wrap it up and save it for lunch the next day.
you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. you can do this. one choice at a time.