My daughter is now 25 and has three children. She has been raped and was hospitalized because of it. She has been strangled to near death and is emotionally and physically abused.
She has been married to her abuser for six years now and believes she loves him. He has isolated her totally from all family, friends, any past acquaintances, and moved her to another state. He abuses their children too, who are 7, 5, and 7 months old. He has forced alcohol down their throats, shot them with a BB gun, left them on their own at 6 and 4 years old for hours at a time.
He now owns a gun and is a convicted felon.
My daughter does not communicate with me now. I love her and my grandchildren so much, but do not have any way to tell them that.
I am looking for advice on how to deal with this, help her see what is happening or how to stop this. I have tried to educate myself so I can help her, but she won’t let me help. I guess it has to be this way until she decides differently.
Any advice you can give me would be much appreciated. Thanks, The Band, for listening!
May 6, 2016, 3:51 p.m.
I am praying for you and your family! (((hugs)))
May 7, 2016, 10:34 p.m.
If her children are in danger — and it sounds like they are — then it’s no longer her personal choice to get help; she needs help — her kids need help — whether she likes it or not. You, as their grandmother and someone who knows the severity of what’s going on, should step in and get them away from him (and her, if she won’t or can’t protect them) asap. Call the cops, and keep calling them every time you’re aware of an incident until you get some action. Hopefully one of the results (besides this horrible dude getting thrown in jail) is that your daughter gets away from him enough to have a chance to heal, and to be a mother to her kids again. Best of luck.
May 9, 2016, 12:56 p.m.
Yipes! What a hard situation! I think that you need to intervene with the local police department – those children are suffering terribly, and your daughter, well, she is struggling mightily. Please keep us posted as to how she’s doing.
May 10, 2016, 12:36 a.m.
You must feel so helpless! Please try to get some help for her and her children. They need to get out of there immediately.
May 10, 2016, 9:30 p.m.
Just as Aunt Becky said, go to the police or local law enforcement and intervene on your daughters behalf. She may not be happy with you but once she realizes that you may not only save her life but her childrens lives she will understand. This goes beyond bad parenting on his part–its abuse.
May 12, 2016, 3:52 p.m.
As a parent, it is so hard to know when to draw the line – no matter the age of your child. I cannot offer advice, but I can say that I am incredibly thankful to the friends who called the police on my behalf when things were at their worst. Think of the children and do what you think is best. The Band has your back.