Recovery.

Such a simple word with such a variety of implications, not a one of them simple.

This month, The Band is focusing upon recovery - from anything. Part of getting through the traumas, the addictions, the mental illnesses is to focus on the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel and focus upon new coping mechanisms, new ways of life, and recovery.

So, The Band, how are YOU recovering? What are you recovering from? How are some ways you cope while recovering?

I'm no stranger to social media. I'm constantly emailing, posting things on Facebook, and I have my own blog. The internet is my friend, and I have felt safe with my privacy within certain confines. 

But there were things that I just couldn't do in those locations. I couldn't talk about the things that really HURT. 

I had a therapist a few years ago who had me start what he called a "Vomit Journal." It was a place to write down the difficult things that eat away at my mind. He said that we need to be able to vomit those things out of our minds so we can get rid of them. I still continue to use mine from time to time.

Problem is, I have children. Children don't always recognize the boundaries of what is private. I worried about the balance between my need to get things out of my brain at any given time with the fear that my daughter could accidentally pick up and read the things inside that journal. 

While I no longer have any love towards my ex-husband, she still does. She hasn't had any contact with him in almost three years, but she still talks about him from time to time. My marriage to him was very difficult, and a large part of the things that eat away at my brain are directed toward him. I worry that my little girl could stumble across some of the hateful things I have to say toward him, and she would be hurt by my words.

Almost exactly a year ago, I heard about The Band!

Here was my chance! A place where I could set up a completely private profile, fully separated from my "real" online life. I could come here and get rid of the ghosts that haunt my past in a more secure location than just a simple notebook tucked into my desk drawer. And not only was it somewhere I could go to deal with my own issues, but I could read stories from other people who have been through the same things I have! Their words could comfort and support me, and my words could comfort and support them!

It's been such a blessing in my life!

I've posted quite a few things since that very first time I dipped my toe in to this new world. 

I've discovered something very interesting.

It's working in ways I didn't expect!

Some of the problems that I've written about GO AWAY after I hit that little Submit button!

For example, my first posting was about the time I'd hit my head, really injuring myself, and my then-husband wouldn't come help me. The injury had left me with a slight indentation under my hair. For YEARS, I could feel that little dent, and it would make me more and more angry.

After I posted it here, I would go back and read it. It made me cry like it had just happened. Later, I would read it again: less tears now. Then again: this time, no crying. 

Eventually, the story no longer upset me.

And then one day, I realized.  I can't feel the dent any more!

Do I think posting my story on Band Back Together miraculously healed my head? No, of course not. But I do believe that I could feel it for all those years because my subconscious was still hurting from it. And now that I've released my story into the universe, I've been able to let go of it. What had felt to me as a huge damaged spot was something I could only feel because I hadn't been able to let go of it. And now I've been able to, so now I can't feel it. 

It's not the only one of my stories I've written here that I no longer feel the pain I used to.

So I want to thank Aunt Becky for turning a simple idea into this wonderful place where we can come to love and support one another with our troubles. I want to thank all the hard workers behind the scenes who keep this site running. And I want to thank everyone who comes here to post their stories, or read and comment on other people's stories. Keep it up! You, too, may see your wounds healing, your hearts comforting, your tears drying!

And if you've lurked but haven't told your story yet, maybe you should try! You might be surprised by what happens.

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