Here at The Band, we believe in kicking stigmas to the curb, flinging glitter, and shining a light into the dark. And now?

Your bandmate needs a sounding board.

It's time to Ask The Band!

I'm so confused.

I have this "friend" who I met over the summer. He seemed like a nice guy - even asked before kissing me for the first time. Eventually, he pressured me into having sex with him, but I didn't horribly mind.

However, with each time we had sex, he became more and more violent. The first two times we slept together, I told and reminded him of my only two rules - no marks, and no finishing inside of me. Every time, he has disregarded these rules.

It started off as just hickies but it's moved much farther than that. On Wednesday, he invited himself over to my house, and I was afraid. He bit my breasts and nipples until I could no longer bear it and started pushing him away, saying no, or not so hard, but he simply continued.

He took off his clothing and asked if I wanted to stop.

I wish I had said yes. Oh, how I wish I had said yes! I don't know what made me say no. Maybe I took it as a sign that he would be gentler. Maybe part of me just wanted to get it over with. Maybe I was just plain scared.

He choked me terribly with his hands and with his penis. I actively tried to push him away from me, dying for breath. He entered me so forcefully that I tore a little, and then he put himself into my mouth again. I could taste my own blood.

Afterwards, he asked me "Why do you like it so rough?" I didn't realize that my suffering had implied that I enjoyed what was happening. I just said "I don't know."

Am I going crazy? Does he really think he's doing me a favour? Two days later, I can still see individual teeth marks from his biting. My most expensive bra has blood on it from him torturing my nipples.

Maybe it's my fault for not saying no "well enough." All I can think is that it's somehow my fault. I can't process what's happening.

Was I raped?

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