by Band Back Together | Jan 8, 2019 | Uncategorized |
here I am, married, two beautiful kids, one in college, one a sr. in high school. I’m suffering from Psoriatic Arthritis, , my kid is dangerously close to not graduating high school due to two credits! My husband lost his job one week before thanksgiving, along with our health care. I work full time because I don;t have a choice. my health is horrible, all I do is work and sleep. I am not a functioning member of my family.
I am the spine of it all. I am the one who keeps every one upbeat, I’m the fixer.
I’m so depressed that I don’t know whether to shit or turn left. what I do know is that first paragraph is a huge run on sentence and I can’t be bothered to fix it because I’m so tired.
I want to be me again. I hate being this depressed. I want to lose my shit and cry, but I can’t. I have to be the spine.
I’m so depressed.
by Band Back Together | Jan 8, 2019 | Compassion, Happiness, Heart And Cardiovascular Diseases and Disorders, Hope, Love |
I have spent the majority of my life feeling like a living, breathing, science project. I remember spending a good portion of my childhood in the hospital.
My asthma is further compounded by a congenital defect in my bronchial tubes referred to as ‘pig bronchus.” My life-threatening allergic reactions; seriously who the f*ck is allergic to tomatoes of all things? Tomatoes by the way, are in almost EVERYTHING. Or my surgeries, of which I’ve had one surgery per year.
The endometriosis, which I was told in high school I may not be able to have children. The endometriosis is probably why my periods are two weeks long.
Or other random shit that happens to me.
I almost died on three separate occasions – twice coded as an infant before the doctors discovered one of two major congenital birth defects. That one was an anominant artery – my aorta was crossed over my trachea – and once after surgery when I was eleven and Nurse Dumbass gave me too much morphine and put me into respiratory arrest.
Every time it seems like I’m coming out on top, something inevitably drags me back down, reminding me: ‘hey @$$hole, let’s not forget that you’re the bubble girl.’
As hard as it is, though, I’ve decided that no one is allowed to feel bad for me. I’ve had almost thirty years of that, and it really doesn’t accomplish much. I’ve decided that when life pushes me, I’m going to push the f*ck back, because I’m no one’s bitch.
Here from my aforementioned blog is a little gem I call “On The Contrary” written by moi.
Two congenital birth defects
They said ‘She won’t’
I DID
Life threatening allergy & exercise induced asthma
They said ‘Never’
I finished two 5K races
19 surgeries in 28 years
Won’t slow me down
Diagnosed with Endometriosis in high school
I was told ‘Unlikely’
Their names are Michael Julien and Mýa Renée
Years of unhealthy and abusive relationships
I was blessed with him
14 years of unhealthy eating, skewed body image and relentless self doubt
I got focused
Three cancer scares
I’m still here
They told me that ‘you won’t’
I said ‘I will’
They told me ‘you can’t’
I DID
JUST WATCH ME.
LIFE IS SHORT. LIGHT A FIRE UNDER ITS ASS!!!
